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Teen Poetry #5

It's over it's all over.

Hallucination
Member

since 2001-03-18

Posts 419

0 posted 2001-08-20 02:44 PM

Frozen, as a tear drips from my eye
Falling, can’t bear these burdens on my shoulders
As you, decide that our relationship’s over.

Let the rain fall
Let the thunder call
From a mountain high
Let the water rise
Let the lightning strike
From the rain clouds

Crying,
From a kiss in the sky
Can’t smile,
For you have left a hole in my heart
Though wounds, heal in time,
They will leave scars.

Unspoken disaster strikes
Leaving nothing but a few memories.
Crushing life long dreams.

Sitting with the napkin in my hand
That I first wrote I love you on.
Tears falling down and making it all blurry
I don’t know if I can carry on.

It’s getting colder
Now that it’s over, it’s all over

Heavens Tears

Senior Member

since 2001-03-15

Posts 677

1 posted 2001-08-20 03:18 PM

This was a great poem. The ending was strong in its weakness. Does that make sense? This poem what so emotional, but that is what makes it so great!

*If you can't stand for something, you'll fall for anything.*

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

2 posted 2001-08-20 09:52 PM

wow, this is so truly touching, the ache and love so clear. Wonderful

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

3 posted 2001-08-21 06:01 PM

This poem relaly hit home for me. A familiar circumstance... I'm sure many of us can relate to this one. This is definitely a tear jerker. Those last two lines were awesome.. nice work, Hallu. I really enjoyed this one.

--Marie

If going to church makes you a Christian, then sitting in a garage makes you a car.

AngelPoet87
Member

since 2001-04-21

Posts 280
Indy

4 posted 2001-08-21 11:20 PM

Very touching poem. You did an excellent job of expressing emotions. Keep writing, it always helps. Take care.

~Ali~

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