She loves me, She loves me not...

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Wood_Stock
Member

since 2001-05-09

Posts 58
The little yellow

0 posted 2001-08-19 06:11 AM

- She loves me, She loves me not -

A flower, the symbol of happier days.
A blossoming beauty in so many ways.
Petals bend wide, revealing sweet scent.
The fresh golden heart, I fully resent.

It told me the news, ears couldn't hear.
Final petal removed, confirming my fears.
"Love me not", it exclaimed, mocking my face.
With its pure golden centre, mine full of disgrace.

Rip it apart in a fit of blind rage.
With it the memory of happiness fades.
Choke on the pain of a decaying inside.
What a fool am I, to think a flower couldn't lie...

-Wood_Stock-

TopGunLauren
Senior Member

since 2000-08-02

Posts 718
California

1 posted 2001-08-19 04:02 PM

Very nice poem I loved it keep up the great work!
Lauren

HopelessRomanticGuy
Member

since 2001-08-17

Posts 495
LI, New York

2 posted 2001-08-19 05:05 PM

Worst....nicely.....AHHH, the horror! The Horror!....lol. Anyway, the poem was really good in my oppinion, a little short (like I should talk...lol), but good none the less. Great emotion!

Love will come and love will go, but friends are forever (usually).

chasing rain
Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 737
Canada

3 posted 2001-08-19 05:08 PM

Beautiful work yet again wood stock! You captured the mood incredibly well! The flow throughout was amazing...it couldn't be better!

'Petals bend wide, revealing sweet scent.
The fresh golden heart, I fully resent.'
Nice foil there...making something sweet seem ever sweeter by adding the resentfulness.

'It told me the news, ears couldn't hear.
Final petal removed, confirming my fears.
"Love me not", it exclaimed, mocking my face.
With its pure golden centre, mine full of disgrace.'
I can picture this so clearly...You captured the reaction very well! I liked the personification you gave to the flower, it makes everything seem more alive and haughty almost.

'Rip it apart in a fit of blind rage.
With it the memory of happiness fades.'
*grins* YES!!! Rip it apart...

'What a fool am I, to think a flower couldn't lie...'
I never thought that flowers always told the truth...hehe. Daisies are charming beings, aren't they?

Your work is most enjoyable to read! You are an aspiring poet here at pip! Congrats on another creation of the mind!

-Leah

Va pensiero sull' ali dorate...

cutie2005
Member

since 2000-04-30

Posts 148
Bennett, Colorado USA

4 posted 2001-08-19 07:46 PM

This was a very nice poem!!! I have that feeling all the time... and that little he loves me not he loves me... for sum reason i always do it haha, but now I just take it as a joke.. whatever happens happens..  Thanks for the read..
    Always,
     Amanda

If you love someone you would go to the end of the world for them!

Spice
Senior Member

since 2001-04-13

Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.

5 posted 2001-08-19 10:05 PM

Jessica "The Great" gives it to thumbs up!

I really really liked this write! I thought it was wonderfully done, the words, the flow, the meaning- everything. I REALLy liked the tone of it all...Infact thats the MAIN reaosn why I'm clickin it into the library. hehe

You wouldn't worry about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did.

fozzyozzy
Member

since 2001-03-15

Posts 336
Lessburg Virginia

6 posted 2001-08-19 10:17 PM

the poor little flower

I liked this. At times it seemed almost funny because it was the melodrama of pulling petals off a little flower. But then it got sad. Hey nice mix of emotions, good job.

"and Death i think is no paranthesis"-e.e. cummings

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