Keepsakes and Reminders (a pair of poems)

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Suga_Baby
Member

since 2000-08-06

Posts 380
Maine, USA

0 posted 2001-06-29 11:43 AM

The first poem is a repost from Teen #4 that I wrote a LONG time ago when I was with my ex... The second one is sort of the sequel to the first one, which I wrote recently. They aren't my best, but oh well!

*Keepsakes of the Smiles You Bring*

I once read a quote
That made me think of you.
I smiled and committed it to memory:
“If I could reach up and hold a star
For every time you’ve made me smile,
The whole evening sky
Would be in the palm of my hand.”

Saying this quote to myself,
I smile and reach to the sky,
Plucking yet another ball of fire from
The increasingly darker celestial sphere.
It will go in my collection, which no longer fits in my palm.
I place it in my pocket with all the rest…
All the millions of stars, keepsakes of the smiles you bring.

-=Reminders of What is No Longer=-

I one read a quote
that made me think of you,
but unfortunately,
it takes on new meaning now.
Instead of a star for every smile you brought,
I now have a scar for every tear I have shed
because of you.

And these tears are not for happiness,
or for hope or thanks.
These tears I have shed long for the past,
The stars in my pocket continue to fade without you,
just as these icy tears continue to fall,
brutal reminders of what is no longer.

"A dream is a wish your heart makes while you are fast asleep."

[This message has been edited by Suga_Baby (edited 06-29-2001).]

Heavens Tears

Senior Member

since 2001-03-15

Posts 677

1 posted 2001-06-29 11:46 AM

"Instead of a star for every smile you brought,
I now have a scar for every tear I have shed
because of you."
I loved these lines. I wondered if maybe you meant it to read "...a star for every tear..." but if you did, I kinda like it like it already is. Thanks for the great read!

*Amanda*
I need more time to find the real me...
to fly like the birds... to be set free.

Suga_Baby
Member

since 2000-08-06

Posts 380
Maine, USA

2 posted 2001-06-29 11:51 AM

Nope, it's supposed to be "scar"

scout
Member

since 2001-06-16

Posts 175
no place owns me

3 posted 2001-06-29 11:53 AM

it's amazing how things change over time, I always think about burning some old poems, just because i don't feel that way anymore (And sometimes i realize i never did), this is a great way to showcase the change, i'm usually embarassed of my old feelings. Good poem, i like how you paralleled them.

xscoutx
"Son of man with one blow I am about to take away from you the delight of your eyes. Yet do not lament or weep or shed any tears."-Eze.24:16

TopGunLauren
Senior Member

since 2000-08-02

Posts 718
California

4 posted 2001-06-29 01:57 PM

Both of these poems are really good and I enjoyed both of them.It's cool to see hwo time can change poems.Anyway keep up the great work!
Lauren

Pixie-Babe03
Member

since 2000-08-29

Posts 387
Central Maine

5 posted 2001-06-29 02:55 PM

these are WONDERFUL!! i must print them and add them to my 3 inch thick poetry binder *L* great work as usual hun!!

*Teenie*

-=Love starts with a SMILE, grows with a KISS, and ends with a TEAR=-

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

6 posted 2001-06-29 03:40 PM

Yea, things change with time and time changes things...erm...yea.
I liked this one though. Very interesting to see how it all ended up. Good luck with the future!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

7 posted 2001-06-29 10:12 PM

I really enjoyed both of these poems. They're very sweet... I really like the imagery in the first poem. Talking about the stars, and that great big ball of fire. The contrasts in these two are very drastic.. the way you portrayed both are amazing! I love the last lines of the second poem. The stars begin to fade without that person.
Very, very nice work. I really liked these poems.. they hit home hard. Nicely done.

--Marie

You can’t expect the roses to grow without the weeds.

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

8 posted 2001-06-29 10:35 PM

Oh wows all around for you, Sara.

I loved it! When you really read into it there is quite a lot of power behind your words. Well done.

Hopefully things are all better with you now. Keep smiling.

~AF~

Just because I hear voices doesn't mean I'm crazy...SHUT UP IN THERE!!!

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

9 posted 2001-06-30 11:14 AM

Good work, I really enjoyed the both of your poems which were excellent.
Andrew

CwboyAtHeart
Senior Member

since 2001-04-14

Posts 541
Selah, WA, USA

10 posted 2001-06-30 09:03 PM

Very awesome how you showed all that has changed... I can actually relate to this one. Keep writing and posting. ::adds this one to my library::

- Cody -

If Pigs Can Fly, So Can I!!!

If someboy laughs at me, does that make me funny or just plain stupid?

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

11 posted 2001-07-01 02:32 AM

your writing..protrayed your emotions here were awesome...the first and second...both were very emotional and quite powerful...very well done!

...i enjoyed these...bye

im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

12 posted 2001-07-01 10:59 PM

This is so sad Sara
I thought you're happy now with a new guy?
Stop thinking of this one and move on
hope things do get better for ya
~*hugs*~

hi Sweets, Lizzy, Kris, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Mare

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