Teen Poetry #5 |
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Unproven Love |
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Zengo Junior Member
since 2001-05-27
Posts 31Rogersville, AL |
At first arrival, She was the smart girl, That smart girl, Became my friend, Then she became my life, I tried to show her my heart, She just couldn't grasp, She said, "How can you be sure and true?", I replied with my all, Only for her to divulge, I've heard that once before, You know we just have to be friends, Why can't I make her understand, My love is true?, Dear God make her see, She's the only one for me, What will it take? My life, If so let the bullet pierce, My heart and soul, Let the blood flow, Like a river of emotion, Only to be damned, By existence, I had rather cry, My invisible tear, And die knowing you knew my love, Then to live and never loved.... |
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© Copyright 2001 Nicholas Wright - All Rights Reserved | |||
TopGunLauren Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 718California |
Your poem is really sad but very well written it has a lot of emotion in it.I loved it keep up the awsome wrok and I hope some day she'll see your love for her. lauren |
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AngelPoet87 Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 280Indy |
Aww she must be really special (for lack of better terming). Good poem, I love the end, keep writing and never stop trying Liefhe alle ten spijte van duivel. |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
Nice ending. Such an emotional filled poem...Such sorrow! I liked it! You wouldn't worry about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did. |
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fozzyozzy Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 336Lessburg Virginia |
Sounds like your lovesick. Very emotinal piece very sad too "and Death i think is no paranthesis"-e.e. cummings |
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Zengo Junior Member
since 2001-05-27
Posts 31Rogersville, AL |
Thanks alot guys!! We are close friends now..I've tried forever now to make her see..I think I'm finally getting through to her....Any Advice? Nick |
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Fading Away![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
"I had rather cry, My invisible tear, And die knowing you knew my love, Then to live and never loved...." Wow, that ending was AWESOME. The situation is really tough, though. It's awesome that she's finally beginning to see how you feel. ![]() ![]() --Marie If going to church makes you a Christian, then sitting in a garage makes you a car. |
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Dopey Dope![]()
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Wow i felt the power in this one. It was so awesome. A poem well done! very impressive work. ![]() I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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allie Member
since 2001-07-09
Posts 218Australia |
Gees, you really like this girl and i know how you feel to think yourself worthless because of someone else... its a horrible and yet wonderful feeling... I hope she loves you back! ![]() ALLIE |
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