Teen Poetry #5 |
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A Touch of Madness |
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zarina Member
since 2001-05-19
Posts 180![]() |
Time is stopping The world is dying An honest man is lying The universe is ending atmosphere exploding Chaos is standfast Rain is sun A little child plays with his gun Fear and madness The sky is red color of blood A great ocean of sorrow lays over us we're getting fainter only shadows' left echoes of voices shallow whispers 'doomed..' 'destiny..' soulless lifeless merciless so very pathetic I can see my mirror image holding a knife in her hand as I'm sliding down And I am laughing what a hollow sound ---- I wrote this at nigth some time when I couldn't sleep.. Now when I read it, I can't understand it at all. It's really weird.---- I am always myself. Isn't that enough for you? |
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© Copyright 2001 zarina - All Rights Reserved | |||
Fading Away![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Some of the best poetry may be written when we are half lucid. Nicely done, Carina. I really enjoyed this. --Marie You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning. |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
I, personally, liked the last stanza and line best. For some odd reason they just stood out to me. The poem isn't one of my favs from you- but it's still an excellent write. You wouldn't worry about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did. |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
This had my attention captured very well and I kept looking for what was next. Great job ![]() "Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle" Plato. |
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silvrduck Member
since 2000-11-05
Posts 146 |
I really *really* like this.. great job! it really got my mind going.. intriguing. ![]() Keep up the great work, i'm interested in reading more from you! Sarah *love is blind; friendship closes its eyes.* |
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pharon Member
since 1999-11-13
Posts 251alabama |
well, you have just sumed up humanity as we know it. it's sad, but unfortunately true. great job on the poem (my fav. time to write is when i'm in and out of consciousness b/c it's always fun to go back and see what i was thinking) again, great job!! me |
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zarina Member
since 2001-05-19
Posts 180 |
well thanks everyone. this poem is.. somehow strange. at least it's different from all of my other poems. I am always myself. Isn't that enough for you? |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Nah this isn't at all strange. In fact, I rather liked the way it was written and the fact that you wrote it when you couldn't sleep. Like Marie said, the best pieces come when we are lucid. "A great ocean of sorrow lays over us we're getting fainter only shadows' left echoes of voices shallow whispers 'doomed..' 'destiny..'" That stanza was well written. Some great images in this piece. Be proud. ![]() ~AF~ I'm a little teapot, short and stout! Here is my handle, here is my spout. *toot toot* |
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