Teen Poetry #5 |
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Forgotten Shadows 1 (collaboration: holatuwol, chasing rain) |
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holatuwol Member
since 2001-04-27
Posts 72California, USA |
This one felt like it was going to get long, so we decided to cut it short, slice it into pieces, and make it a series to make it easier to read. ^_^ At least, I hope it's easier to read... oo; hehehe Once again, as noted in the subject line, this is one of those collaboration poems; this one's done with Leah. ^_^v ---------------------------------------- Forgotten Shadows - [1] The Cloaked One (collaboration: holatuwol, chasing rain) White clouds and dark mist Overlay an evergreen forest Cloaking it with watery dewdrops, Bringing it fresh water From faraway streams and rivers. The trees whisper with the wind In the language of the leaves As clouds line the sky with shadows. Shadows of clouds Bringing down echoing raindrops, Raindrops of crimson, Tears filled with blood. And in the empty-sided silence One can hear the faint call Of the cloaked figure... Cloaked by the moonlight, Hiding from the sun's elegant rays, Searching to taste the bitter-sweetness That lingers as the clouds and mist pass by. He is but a bleak figure Against a background of blacks and grays. Beneath his cloak, he smiles a smile Full of menacing power and grace Like a cold sun on a winter's evening Hidden by the shadows of the clouds. Hiding... wherefore? Fear of being hunted... perhaps. Though, with the smile that he carries, One wonders if it is more... A predator, playing with an unaware prey. His eyes hold a cold gleam As they set upon a castle gate Wrought of hard iron. Beyond the gates, there lies an open window A candle flickers in the dark As a love song wafts through the air In full harmony with the wind. Notes of a siren played on a harp, As the voice of a bard Lulls a princess into his arms. The sweet love melody, lingering on the wind, Marking the perfect prey tonight For the cloaked figure, riding on the winds. With a wave of his hand A cold mist surrounds him As he disappears into the night Waiting for the perfect time To strike. For now, he waits in deathly silence... |
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© Copyright 2001 MinhChau Dang - All Rights Reserved | |||
mistic Member
since 2001-05-06
Posts 233Idaho, U.S.A. |
Oooh I really liked this one! the ending sent shivers down my spine... ![]() Life is an open book with many unwritten pages, write something that's meaningful to you there. |
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fozzyozzy Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 336Lessburg Virginia |
There seem to be more and more collaborations lately. That's a good thing in my opinion. To be honest, I was a bit turned off by the fantasy type theme. But besides that, I was able to enjoy it very much. The skill put forth in this piece is evident. Good Job!! "and Death i think is no paranthesis"-e.e. cummings |
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TopGunLauren Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 718California |
This poem is cool I liked it! Lauren |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
..........so a library piece! |
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Fading Away![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Wowsers, you guys... I loved this one. VERY MUCH of a library piece. I loved the ending... VERY mysterious. Nicely done, you two. Very fine pair you make. This is a little long, but well worth the read. I can't wait for the second in the series!! Beautiful work. THe images and the dark tone the whole piece had was aweomse. Well done the both of you. --Marie You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning. |
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chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
Thanks everyone for your replies. Much appreciated. ![]() -Leah Va pensiero sull' ali dorate... |
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zarina Member
since 2001-05-19
Posts 180 |
very good! very very good! very very very good!! ![]() I am always myself. Isn't that enough for you? |
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knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
this was goooood! great work MC and Leah. cant wait for more ![]() tiff ![]() Allan Riverwood is a sexay man! [This message has been edited by knightlyshadows (edited 08-17-2001).] |
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Allan Riverwood![]() ![]()
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Hey you two. Well I'm finally giving my reply. Call me crazy but the whole poem drew Garlo in my mind. The scenery you portrayed, the imagery and description, is very well done. It's what I'd expect from you two, considering it's a strong point of each of yours. I'm very satisfied with this post. It's a part of a series, as you say, so I'll hold my general statement on it for the very end. ![]() Great work you two, ~Allan The children of the nobility are playing here. they look up at you with disgust as you come near. |
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