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Free Spirit
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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Free Spirit |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia 
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church white clapboard autumn leaves on the east coast trees naked of life shivering icicles perturbing the smoothness of late autumn black shudders abandoned villa faceless in a black and white world of cobblestone streets and inviting houses that no one resides in color and beauty muted to a saddened tone music stripped to melodies to staff lines to single notes and to nothing as the glory is destroyed the flag lowered to half mast not because someone died, but because the string holding it high has rotted like the spirit it once represented. --Marie You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning. |
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| © Copyright 2001 Jennifer Floyd - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
Hi Marie.  Yet another amazing piece from you. I absolutely love your writing. I get so wrapped up in them. This, of course, was no exception. I liked the imagery you potrayed here.Such wonderful description. Reading it made me feel cold and alone/abandoned. hehehe. I'm odd I guess. LOL. But ya, I really liked this so much.  You wouldn't worry about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did. |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Really nice, Marie. This was unusual for you, here I see you focusing more on imagery and considerably less on metaphorical content. You've still pulled it off incredibly well. The imagery is very vivid in my mind. As usual, a piece to be commended. Very nice work.  ~Allan Blood Moon |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Thanks Spice and Allan I actually wrote this one a while ago, hence the late autumn/winter atmosphere. It's one of my personal favorites because of the imagery, and I posted it as motivation to write more like this, heh.Anyways, thanks for your replies! --Marie You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning. |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
I'm really impressed with this piece. I love the imagery, but I still get a lot of symbolism out of it. Perhaps it just in my head, but it still amazing. Great work, my friend.  "Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli |
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Linc
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552The Backstreet Boy |
Juli! --Tuli "Blood Moon" |
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Kicking Kim Member
since 2001-04-16
Posts 426Cloud Cucko Land! |
"Has rotted like the spirit it ONCE presented" Wow, Marie this was really great, the tone and structure are perfect and the poem itself...amazing!  ^*~Kicking Kim~*^  "Theres no posession, just obsession and growing depression" |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Well done here Marie! I really enjoyed the poem! More I say!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
wOW MArie...quite powerful last lines... withing the throughout use of wonderful imagery...enjoyed, as always...buh bye [This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 09-06-2001).] |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
OOoo Marie I really like this one. You go down a different path with this. It seems quite sarcastic towards the end in a way. Maybe that's just me...nevermind. Your imagery was rather good. Wooo, you're so good.  Anyway, great job and I look forward to more. ~AF~ "Kelly's my Hero!" "No, Kelly's your heroine." "Kelly has heroin??" "What?" |
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