The Girl Who Has Everything

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Suga_Baby
Member

since 2000-08-06

Posts 380
Maine, USA

0 posted 2001-08-05 10:18 PM

The girl who has everything
That is who I am
Straight A’s in school
And on every exam

A future so bright
Possibilities galore
My dreams will come true
How could I want more?

I got my own checkbook
All the money I need
A full-time job, as well
Forty hours a week

Beautiful hair of gold
As soft as silk so fine
Nearly perfect skin
And deep dark eyes that shine

Tall, fair, and slender
Skin with an ivory glow
A bright but rare smile
And in the sun freckles show

So what’s my problem??
I’ll get to that now…
Somewhere in my life
I messed up somehow

I go through ****
I don’t even deserve
Life always throws me
Unexpected curves

A crippled father
The death of a friend
A lack of romance
The problems never end!

There’s always something
Holding me down
This why in solitude
I do not hide my frown

I have tons of friends
Some old, and some new
When I need them they’re there,
Tried and true…

But still, I feel empty
My life lacks something
Because the girl with it all
Has absolutely nothing

"A dream is a wish your heart makes while you are fast asleep."

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

1 posted 2001-08-05 10:35 PM

suc a real piece...and its true...everyone has something...even though it might seem nothing...like some may have money instaed of beauty...some may be more popular instaed of happy...for me...i might be handsome, outside..hahah...j/k...but, anyway!...this was a very nice piece...i liked it,Sara.

if i die before i wake...i pray the Lord my soul to take - when thugs cry-

The Exile
Member

since 2001-07-14

Posts 52
Ontario, Canada

2 posted 2001-08-05 10:46 PM

Sara,

I completely understand what you were saying... sometimes fate just plays with us and in ways that we could never expect...

I don't really have much to say but i liked the ending:

"But still, I feel empty
My life lacks something
Because the girl with it all
Has absolutely nothing."

Reminds me of how Carl Orff described fate in "O'Fortuna":

"O Fortuna
velut luna
statu variabilis.
...
Sors immanis,
et inanis"

(O fortune, like the moon, you are changable... Fate, monstrous, and empty.)

Keep it up, get it up and don't give it up!

- Alex

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

3 posted 2001-08-06 01:14 AM

I liked this... the rhyme and flow was very nicely done. The content is something that I'm sure many people can relate to. Lot os people have been there... I hope things get better, and you find what you're looking for. I enjoyed this poem.

--Marie

You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning.

Spice
Senior Member

since 2001-04-13

Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.

4 posted 2001-08-06 11:36 AM

I liked this one alot...Wow!
Reminds me of that crown poem of mine..or somehting like that.
But ya, alot of people will be able to connect with this one in SOME way. I know I did. You wrote this very well. The flow was excellent. I liked it alot. Nice job!

mistic
Member

since 2001-05-06

Posts 233
Idaho, U.S.A.

5 posted 2001-08-06 01:24 PM

I really liked this.. it was very true and had lots of emotion running through it. I hope things get better for you. Great job on the poem

Heavens Tears

Senior Member

since 2001-03-15

Posts 677

6 posted 2001-08-06 02:53 PM

I know how ya feel. So many people think they can take one look at you, and by the clothes you wear, or just the way you look, can tell what kind of life you have. This was a wonderful poem, I truly enjoyed it.

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

7 posted 2001-08-07 11:16 PM

Great job here. I really liked the poem. Comes off as egoy..... but i did like the end! Awesome job!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

punkrockerrobin

Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 1180
Sparks, NV

8 posted 2001-08-08 03:22 AM

hey this poem sounds like it's talkin bout the ppl i hate no offense to anyone!
robin

i don't give up without a fight so boys beware!

allie
Member

since 2001-07-09

Posts 218
Australia

9 posted 2001-08-08 04:52 AM

I liked the switch of perspective midway through the poem... At first we were seeing perfection and towards the end what you see your self as...

Really well written,

ALLIE

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