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Jenn Cirrincione

Member Elite

since 2000-07-02

Posts 2107
Fl

0 posted 2001-08-04 12:26 PM

Silence fills this empty room
Tears fall slowly to the floor
Mangled thoughts cloud my head
All I have felt
Once was so strong
Now just hidden
Shielded by the murky depths
Pain and anger
Not what I fear
Just this deadly indifference
And my blackened heart

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

1 posted 2001-08-04 01:16 PM

Sounds like "The Never Ending Story" thing is going on with your soul. Good luck with that.....nice poem

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

2 posted 2001-08-05 12:42 PM

I like this one, Jenn. This poem is very powerful in it's simplicity. I enjoyed it... Nicely done!

--Marie

You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning.

mistic
Member

since 2001-05-06

Posts 233
Idaho, U.S.A.

3 posted 2001-08-05 12:59 PM

I agree with Dopey. But I like the images that you created here, and even though it's short and simple, it's very strong and I like that. Thanks for sharing.

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

4 posted 2001-08-05 08:40 AM

Wow, this would have to be one of the darkest pieces I have read from you Jenn.
"All I have felt
Once was so strong
Now just hidden
Shielded by the murky depths"
That does NOT sound good. We'll talk later on. Keep your head up, alright.

~AF~

Q:What's brown and black and looks great on a lawyer?
A:A rottweiler

Child of the Stars

Senior Member

since 2000-09-07

Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI

5 posted 2001-08-05 12:36 PM

Hey Red, this was a good poem....Keep yo head up, things will be all right...I've got the sudden urge to scuba dive in the carribean...
~Carly

Speak softly and carry a beagle.

"Go outside and use your own eyes. You'll be surprised to see things you've never been taught."
~Edouard Manet

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

6 posted 2001-08-05 11:13 PM

jenn, wow...such deep emotions...i loved this piece...cause i can see the depth of pain and sadness in it...VERY dark...exactly why...i can relate maybe not the situation whatever your going through, which i hope your doing ok...but the emotions...keep your head up.

if i die before i wake...i pray the Lord my soul to take - when thugs cry-

Postman Pat
Junior Member

since 2001-08-05

Posts 23
The Great Land DownUnder

7 posted 2001-08-06 12:11 PM

This Poem struck me as being more sad then "dark" as everybody else puts it. I hope you're not feeling like this in real life!

Jenn Cirrincione

Member Elite

since 2000-07-02

Posts 2107
Fl

8 posted 2001-08-06 07:50 AM

Nah... I don't feel like this anymore. Can't say as I haven't ever, tho. Thanks for everyone's replies...You guys are the best I'll be OK.

Jenn

keoni
Senior Member

since 2000-10-16

Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC

9 posted 2001-08-06 04:00 PM

this is a nice piece. Very sad though. I love the last 3 lines
"Not what I fear
Just this deadly indifference
And my blackened heart"

This was a very powerful poem
Jon

"Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine
"Only God can judge me" Tupac Shakur

Spice
Senior Member

since 2001-04-13

Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.

10 posted 2001-08-07 12:45 PM

Hi Jenn! I know I'm late, please, have mercy.

ANYWAY! I'll start by stating the obvious...Jenn, this is very dark and sad. Filled with so much emotion.
"Once was so strong
Now just hidden"
Loved thos elines. I know how ya feel.
Great write here!

You wouldn't worry about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did.

allie
Member

since 2001-07-09

Posts 218
Australia

11 posted 2001-08-07 03:11 AM

Definately sad... The idea i got from the title...

Very very nice post though!~!~!~!

Good work... i hope you get happier soon...

ALLIE

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

12 posted 2001-08-07 03:19 AM

Wow....i loved this. It was so powerful and your words were so expressive. Excellent job...

Shygirl82
Member

since 2001-02-19

Posts 245
Ilinois

13 posted 2001-08-07 03:30 AM

Very well expressed emotions...short but very to the point. Great write!
~Nikki~

Smile!! You never know who may be falling in love with it...

lilibeelee
Member

since 2001-07-12

Posts 143

14 posted 2001-08-14 03:29 PM

Great Emotions! very well put together...I like your writting.
--lili

zarina
Member

since 2001-05-19

Posts 180

15 posted 2001-08-14 05:16 PM

I just have to agree with everyone else here. short but yet very good.

I am always myself. Isn't that enough for you?

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