Teen Poetry #5 |
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The nothing |
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Jenn Cirrincione![]() ![]()
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl ![]() |
Silence fills this empty room Tears fall slowly to the floor Mangled thoughts cloud my head All I have felt Once was so strong Now just hidden Shielded by the murky depths Pain and anger Not what I fear Just this deadly indifference And my blackened heart |
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© Copyright 2001 Jennifer Parker - All Rights Reserved | |||
Dopey Dope![]()
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Sounds like "The Never Ending Story" thing is going on with your soul. Good luck with that.....nice poem ![]() I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Fading Away![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
I like this one, Jenn. This poem is very powerful in it's simplicity. I enjoyed it... Nicely done! --Marie You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning. |
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mistic Member
since 2001-05-06
Posts 233Idaho, U.S.A. |
I agree with Dopey. But I like the images that you created here, and even though it's short and simple, it's very strong and I like that. Thanks for sharing. ![]() |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Wow, this would have to be one of the darkest pieces I have read from you Jenn. "All I have felt Once was so strong Now just hidden Shielded by the murky depths" That does NOT sound good. We'll talk later on. Keep your head up, alright. ![]() ~AF~ Q:What's brown and black and looks great on a lawyer? |
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Child of the Stars![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Hey Red, this was a good poem....Keep yo head up, things will be all right...I've got the sudden urge to scuba dive in the carribean... ~Carly Speak softly and carry a beagle. |
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anonymous albert ?![]()
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
jenn, wow...such deep emotions...i loved this piece...cause i can see the depth of pain and sadness in it...VERY dark...exactly why...i can relate maybe not the situation whatever your going through, which i hope your doing ok...but the emotions...keep your head up. if i die before i wake...i pray the Lord my soul to take - when thugs cry- |
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Postman Pat Junior Member
since 2001-08-05
Posts 23The Great Land DownUnder |
This Poem struck me as being more sad then "dark" as everybody else puts it. I hope you're not feeling like this in real life! |
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Jenn Cirrincione![]() ![]()
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
Nah... I don't feel like this anymore. Can't say as I haven't ever, tho. Thanks for everyone's replies...You guys are the best I'll be OK. ![]() Jenn |
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keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
this is a nice piece. Very sad though. I love the last 3 lines "Not what I fear Just this deadly indifference And my blackened heart" This was a very powerful poem Jon "Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
Hi Jenn! I know I'm late, please, have mercy. ![]() ANYWAY! I'll start by stating the obvious...Jenn, this is very dark and sad. Filled with so much emotion. "Once was so strong Now just hidden" Loved thos elines. I know how ya feel. Great write here! ![]() You wouldn't worry about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did. |
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allie Member
since 2001-07-09
Posts 218Australia |
Definately sad... The idea i got from the title... Very very nice post though!~!~!~! Good work... i hope you get happier soon... ALLIE |
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xShUgArHiGhx![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Wow....i loved this. It was so powerful and your words were so expressive. Excellent job... |
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Shygirl82 Member
since 2001-02-19
Posts 245Ilinois |
Very well expressed emotions...short but very to the point. Great write! ~Nikki~ Smile!! You never know who may be falling in love with it... |
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lilibeelee Member
since 2001-07-12
Posts 143 |
Great Emotions! very well put together...I like your writting. --lili |
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zarina Member
since 2001-05-19
Posts 180 |
I just have to agree with everyone else here. short but yet very good. I am always myself. Isn't that enough for you? |
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