Teen Poetry #5 |
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Reflection |
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Kaos Member
since 2001-08-02
Posts 317between space and time ![]() |
I dare to be different you call me a freak, I wanna be heard but you don’t let me speak I’m down and you wonder why?! Not a day passes that don’t make me cry. I gaze in the mirror and looking at me, Ain’t the same person that I used to see. Looks haven’t changed but deep in the eyes, A world is seen veiled in lies. I see the reflection of a heartbroken child, His sanity slipping his feelings defiled. Emotionally raped by the people he needed, Backs turned on him raped and then cheated. Shattered look tear streaked cheek, Finally broken, unable to speak. " How can i feel if i can't breathe...?" |
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© Copyright 2001 Michael Lentini - All Rights Reserved | |||
Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
First off- ![]() ![]() I absolutely LOVE this. The flow was awesome, the rhyme didn't make it childish at all (Which I feel rhyme does to a few poems.) Ya, I saw you had posted another poem and I'm just DYING to read it...If it's anything like this one I'll have to push my lil eyes back in their place. I dunno- Somehting about this was just incredible for me. I hope to see you posting and rpelying very soon! |
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keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
Welcome to Passions! I also enjoyed this poem alot. It was a great first post. I hope you like it here and post more. Jon "Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine |
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Isabel Galaxia Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733 |
This is great. Someone said they were your first fan Suppose that makes me your second? lol. Bel |
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Jessica![]()
since 2001-06-28
Posts 350South AL |
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Linc![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552The Backstreet Boy |
Hey, Welcome to Passions! This is a nice start. I hope to see you and your poetry around the Passions forms. Check your email ![]() "Blood Moon" |
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Jenn Cirrincione![]() ![]()
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
Terrific job on this one... I understand the emotion in this, sometimes ppl can be ridiculously cruel. *hugs* Great write... Jenn "Baby I've been drifting away, dreaming all day, of holding you, touching you, the only thing that I wanna do is be with you..."Faith Hill |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
![]() ![]() What a whopper of a first post! The emotion and rhyme totally kicked butt. Unfortunately, some people are like that. On the other side of the coin, we need those sorts in this world. Only to realise that they aren't worth our time and to really appreciate the good ones in our lives. I hope things look up for you soon. Also, I look forward to reading much more of your poetry. ![]() ~AF~ "Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs." -- Robin Williams |
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Heavens Tears![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677 |
Wonderful first post! Welcome to Passions. I hope you like it here. I also hope that things get better for you. Nicely done! |
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anonymous albert ?![]()
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
"Looks haven’t changed but deep in the eyes, A world is seen veiled in lies." "Shattered look tear streaked cheek, Finally broken, unable to speak." wOW. and...WELCOME TO PASSIONS!! "if i die before i wake...i pray the Lord my soul to take" - when thugs cry- |
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chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
Ok, there was something I needed to do before I did anything...but I forgot. So, anyways... GEEZ! What an amazing first post. Good gravey (I'm still hungry). The rhymes were great, and the flow...THE FLOW WAS JAMMIN'! (still hungry) Indeed, you will cause "Kaos" at PIP if you post anymore of these groovin' (does anyone use that anymore? Or am I really really not there?) works! THUMBS UP TO YOU!!! :thumbs up: And I remembered something... ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() -Leah mmmm...cheese... Va pensiero sull' ali dorate... |
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Dopey Dope![]()
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Welcome to Pip! I enjoyed this poem very much! I hope to see more of your ework in the future. ![]() I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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allie Member
since 2001-07-09
Posts 218Australia |
![]() ![]() I'm still new myself!! But everyone heres really nice, And so was that post!! ALLIE |
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Fading Away![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Welcome to Passions in Poetry, Michael! I really liked this first post. It's very well written! Dare to be different! Hold your head up, and just be you, because that's the best person you can be ![]() ![]() --Marie You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning. |
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DancinQueen![]()
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092Kokomo,IN,USA |
my goodness you are good. First the other one, now this one. (well actually i read them in reverse) But neways, yeah i really really like your poetry. very moving..keep posting, im anxious to read some more *dq **You can't always trust the people you want to** |
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JuLiEgUrL New Member
since 2001-08-13
Posts 1 |
Not fitting the profile in society today can be rough...Often times, those people (Who aren't quite with the "in crowd"), don't realize how imperfect _everyone_ is. This is awesomely portraied here in this poem....having almost a story line. I can EASILY see the sad and lonely child, finally understanding how.... through all his misery.... he failed to see others pains and sorrows. And when he does realize this, he is too late to save himself from his despair. Incredible writting, with vivid imagry, and words that flow deep. I've got to say, as a friend and a critic, you've definately got something to ya that gives your poetry it's kick. Keep writing... |
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lilibeelee Member
since 2001-07-12
Posts 143 |
Great poem i can really realate...I feel yah ![]() peace |
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