Teen Poetry #5 |
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What Life's All About |
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Honey Member
since 2001-10-09
Posts 92Hot girl From Canada |
Some people will hate you, And some will care, Some people cry And some people stare. Were put here to give love, God wants us to be nice. Were here to be friends, And give advice. some people adore you, But some will never care. You want to talk to some one, But you would never dare. Don't take life for granted, We are only here so long. So help the ones who need it, And make them grow strong. Someone's mother left them, A girl's boyfriend made her cry. A boy is dying of cancer, And the new girl wants to die. If people wern't so selfish, And if people didnt lie. People wouldn't be so sad, And people wouldn't cry. Life is a very precious thing, Given to us on loan. God is always checking up on you, To see how much you've grown. Every girl is beautiful, And not every man lies. And someone will always be there, To wipe the tears from your eyes. Please remember your not alone, And someone does really care. You are great the way you are, And who cares if people stare. So instead of being mean, Go and help others out. You will feel much better, And that's what life's all about. |
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© Copyright 2001 Honey - All Rights Reserved | |||
mistic Member
since 2001-05-06
Posts 233Idaho, U.S.A. |
this is a good poem with a great message. thanks for sharing... too bad everyone doesn't see life as easy.. Welcome to pip, hope to see more from you ![]() Life is an open book with many unwritten pages, write something that's meaningful to you there. |
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NathanS Member
since 2001-09-27
Posts 106CA |
![]() ![]() Hey, great poem!! I liked it a lot! An awesome message, with a nice rhytm! A very very well done first post ![]() I hope to see more of your work soon! This one goes to my library! -Dreys If fish can swim, why can't i? |
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SEA![]() ![]()
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Welcome! ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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fozzyozzy Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 336Lessburg Virginia |
Wilkommen zu PIP! Great message here, I wish more people could realize this ![]() "and Death i think is no paranthesis"-e.e. cummings |
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Skyfire![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
WELCOME TO PIP!!! You'll find that many people here are quite odd (just go to 'discussions'--> 'teen chat' to see my point), but hopefully you'll fit right in here! Awesome first post, and I hope you keep coming back! If you define cowardice as running away and screaming at the first sign of danger, then yes, Mister Brave Man, I guess I am a coward. |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
"Every girl is beautiful, And not every man lies." this is an awesome first post honey. like everyone said- it holds a great message. it's really inspirational too. not many ppl realise how much better they have it then the next person. thanks for sharing this- i enjoyed it quite a lot. im looking forward to reading more from you soon! oh and: ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() enjoy reading and replying- go at it till yer hearts content! ![]() The day I stopped loving I died. |
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katherine Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365Canberra Australia |
An amazing first post well done. oh yeah and welcome to passions we hope you enjoy your stay. "by takeing no risks you are really risking everything" |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
![]() ![]() Oh I LOVE this! I am blown away and it actually made me tingle all over after reading it. Some parts I just went, "yes, how true" at. You've written a beautiful, heartfelt and honest piece here Honey. It comes straight from the heart and if only more people lived by these simple philosophies. I'm going to add it to my library for the simplicity of it but also for all it tells. I hope you enjoy it here with us for a long time. Remember to reply as well as post. Thank you for sharing. ![]() ~AF~ "I remember the days when I was so eager to satisfy you" |
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Isabel Galaxia Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733 |
This is really great! It totally applies..especially to my life right now. Some certain people should really read this and think about it Anyway, welcome Bel |
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TopGunLauren Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 718California |
Welcome your poem is great it has a really good message I loved it.Keep up the awsome work. Lauren |
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xShUgArHiGhx![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
This poem was very true hun...I really enjoyed it..Great job and keep em comin! |
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Charisma![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
Welcome to Passions, and this was really a great entrance, thanks for sharing this beauty with us. Charisma |
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Dopey Dope![]()
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I liked the conclusion of the poem. How helping others out is basically what life can be about. I thought you wrote this well and I'd like to welcome you to Passions. ![]() I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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~gretchenp34~ Junior Member
since 2001-10-08
Posts 46Ohio, USA |
WELCOME!!!!! That is SUCH a wonderful poem!!!!! I cant wait to see more! LOVED IT! Love is like learning to play the piano. First you must learn to play by the rules, then you must forget the rules and play by your heart. |
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FoxXena Member
since 2001-06-13
Posts 141where dragons play, children run free and foxes are never hunted |
Hey! Welcome to Piptalk aka Passions! ~*~It is said that laughter is the shortest distance between two people...~*~ |
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holatuwol Member
since 2001-04-27
Posts 72California, USA |
Dude, a first post from like a week ago is dragged up to page one... o.o; Talk about 'whoa'... I didn't even get this kind of reception for my first post, and this was back in the day when nearly every poem had at least 8 replies and whatnot... ^^ Of course, yours delivered a much prettier, much more meaningful message, which probably defaulted its general appeal, and plus it was better, anyhow. hehe The poem really delivers a strong message... almost like a positive way to view things, I guess you could say. ^_^ It's just something that makes you wonder about the positive side of things for a moment, losing yourself in an optimistic fantasy where pessimism isn't something that's just second-nature. In that light, it really is a pretty poem... although there are a few points which are fuzzy, hazy and could spark controversy, that need not be discussed since, given the idea that you were brave enough to confront them, you're worthy of a round of applause. *cue applause from keyboard* Anyhowsers! This is a wonderful first post. ^_^ hehehe I think I've seen others of yours around... somewhere... o.o;;; Maybe it was someone else's poem or a post in a different forum... checking back, two poems regarding blindness of some sort. ^^; BUT! In any case... this one really stood out as the best one out of all of the ones that I've read of yours and easily tops my lists. ^_^ Thank you much for the optimistic viewpoint... it's something that a lot of us are needing these days. Onto the poem itself rather than the prevailing theme of it... the poem has certain stanzas which flow very well (the one mentioned about every girl being beautiful and not all men lying is an evil gender chauvinist thing, but it has wonderful flow which makes up for it... a little ^_^v... and the fifth one was sugoi!), and other stanzas (like the second one and the fourth-to-last one) seemed totally out of synch with the rest of the poem and the stanzas around it. Other stanzas were moderately neutral and provided background theme, making the poem have a nice overall balance to it. It's a weird suggestion, but if you made the entire poem completely religiously neutral, I think it would have had a lot more flow because the smooth idea of human morality doesn't flow well with a sudden appearance of God... albeit, it really is interesting to talk about God and nothing wrong with talking about God (unless you have an aetheist audience, of course), but it screws over your flow because it distracts the reader and most of the lines around religious references are dead... In any case, I thought the poem was nice, but I thought that the flow of the words needed to be tweaked a little. ^^ Other than flow, the theme was pretty, noteworthy and much-needed, as noted before. Thank you for the read. ^_^ Despite what it may appear from the critique, I enjoyed it. Until next time! - holatuwol |
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