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Teen Poetry #5
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Broken Pieces
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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Broken Pieces |
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Allysa 
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden 
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They talk endlessly about how I should be mad at you. Yes, you hurt me but everyone deserves a second chance right? I'm not mad about what you did to me truth is, I don't care. I don't know why I still want to be around you all the time. You let me dress you up at school in a pointy purple witch's hat and a feathery mask. I took your picture and paraded you around the hallway so everyone could see. You might come out with me on Friday or Saturday and really, that's okay. They talk endlessly about how I should forget the way I feel when you're around. They think it doesn't matter much to them so why should it matter to the broken pieces of me? Don't let your mind wander, it's much to small to be out by itself. |
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| © Copyright 2002 Allysa - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Demonic Illusion Member
since 2002-02-07
Posts 50 |
interesting way of writing that...very nice though Demonic Illusions, Frostic Dragons, Bloody Tears From Me To You....all surround by a force of Untouchable Darkness |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Allysa- Wow...this is extremely well done, and the presentation is very effective. Very powerful piece. I'm really enjoying your writing. You're an exceptional poet...keep it up.  Hugs, ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, you have not truly met the poet. ~vlraynes [This message has been edited by vlraynes (04-05-2002 12:54 AM).] |
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See me? Member
since 2002-02-13
Posts 93UK |
Really good, love the way you set it out very original. Content was very moving I am going through this. They say that love is blind and in a way it is but I think that your feelings are more important than what anyone is saying about him as they don't know what you feel. Just don't let him hurt you. I know I have been hurt. ' but everyone deserves a second chance right?' this is true but be careful, I gave this second chance and got hurt again, and I can't give a third chance as much as I would want to in my heart. Take care, I hope you make the right choises. God Bless your decision, I hope it works out for you. Clare in the face of a broken heart Life is about change,sometimes its painful,sometimes its beautiful,sometimes its both. |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
Very unique. Well written, my dear. So very real and honest, I like it. Jenn "I can't get you out of my head- your love is all I think about." |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Allysa, I like the way you have set this out, trailing your thoughts...it is also interesting how you are looking out for the emotions of the person you are talking about, as well. I would like to see more of this style of writing from you. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I think this is great - the title followed the 'broken pieces' of thought in your poem. Well done!  |
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