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Teen Poetry #5
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days together (written at 3am on friday night)
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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days together (written at 3am on friday night) |
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thedarkangel Member
since 2001-05-12
Posts 74~*~the cutest~*~ |
If I could put you in a frame I would draw you smiling and then put you on display for all the world to see Remember the day when we spent most of the day in bed? How we kissed and lay together my left arm draped around your head? Do you remember the night when my Dad made us sleep in different beds? And how early I tiptoed down and curled up with you in the downstairs bed? Do you still remember the days when we spent whole days in the park? And how no matter how sunburnt we got we would still sit there and laugh? Everytime I can't be with you I just remember your smile. And everytime I remember one of these days my life seems more worthwhile. ~*~dan, me loves u. and i'll always find you~*~ do what you do and do it well -ME!!!! |
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obscurity of cloud Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 294....:::::******:::::.... |
so sweet!! this has a very nice way of being tender and poetic without going over the top. I like how you've woven experiences in here that seem very alive and real. Great work! "so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost |
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Marshalzu  
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Great work TDA I really enjoyed the read, well done  Zu "Here we are again Finding ourselves at the end Of the wrong stick I guess it's far too late I'm building up the barricades In my head" -My Vitriol |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
this is such a tender loving write.....wow, I like this very much |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
I already replied to this in #4, but I'll reply again here. This is a beautiful poem... the images I got from this poem were wonderful. Very familiar.. I liked this. nice work. --Marie "Well the sun is slowly sinking down, but the moon is slowly rising. So this old world must still be spinning 'round. And I still love you." –James T |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Very nice, I enjoyed reading this muchly. Didn't see it in #4, sorry 'bout that. Well I'm starting on #5 with a clean slate.  ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Such a suttle and sweet poem. You have shown your happy times in a most vivid and expressive way. Beautiful write. keep it up hi Sweets, Kris, Lizzy, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Mare |
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DYME Member
since 2000-07-29
Posts 104Texas |
That's sooo sweeeet!! No weapon formed against me shall prosper... ISAIAH 54:17 |
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thedarkangel Member
since 2001-05-12
Posts 74~*~the cutest~*~ |
thankyou i have to thank dan 4 inspiring me 4 this, the first line was from a conversation we had on thursday... and i'm gonna remember that as the best day of my life The road ahead is as long as you make it. Make it worth the trip ~*~jon bon jovi~*~ |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
This was a beautiful poem DarkAngel. So sweet. Thanks for the read. Keep posting!You wouldn't worry about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did. |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
beautifully written...the questions worked well in this poem...very heartfelt tender feelings...i enjoyed this a lot ...bye  im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you? |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Tender indeed..... Good stuff here, I enjoyed the read. Another smiley one. ~Carly "Go outside and use your own eyes. You'll be surprised to see things you've never been taught..." |
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Raven Skye Member
since 2001-03-03
Posts 112.In a House. |
3 am poems rock....good job *×´¨`·.×*Raven Skye*×´¨`·.×* |
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stace_co2003 Member
since 2001-03-30
Posts 497In a dream world |
awwwwwwwwwww, so schweet!!!!! I don't have an attitude problem You have a perception problem. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Yea I read this one in teen 4......I liked it a lot. Very nicely done.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Jose Marti Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 374washing DC |
this is a nice love poem it really is very good I wish i was this close to my girlfriend |
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Heavens Tears
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677 |
Aww. That was sweet. I wish I had someone to tell all of that to!!! *Amanda* |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Aww very sweet!!! Me liked this one quite a bit. Thanks for the read. ~AF~ Just because I hear voices doesn't mean I'm crazy...SHUT UP IN THERE!!! |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
this was soooo sweet!! hold on to this one and never let go |
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DancinQueen
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092Kokomo,IN,USA |
aww this was so cute. i especially liked the last stanza and your little message to him that was sweet, i'll always find you. *sigh* i feel like im watching pretty woman haha neways, keep posting *dq **You can't always trust the people you want to** |
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