Teen Poetry #5 |
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To Cry |
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fozzyozzy Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 336Lessburg Virginia ![]() |
To Cry When heart's shell cracked At one time (this only time) She bites a predestined apple To suckle my sin As my message teeters A heart's shell has she the time (this only time) When Paris fades Into glittering shades Create this only time Silken black (knit my cozie) send me off a predestined apple of my original sin Twisting form with no center am i i only one time (this only time) Never about you Never about you Never about you But only, for you. "and Death i think is no paranthesis"-e.e. cummings |
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© Copyright 2001 Sean Michael DeFlora - All Rights Reserved | |||
Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
Sean, I love your writing. The format here is terrific. I have yet to fully grasp this one- but what I have gotton so far I'm loving.The ending is my fav. More I say!!! |
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Jessica![]()
since 2001-06-28
Posts 350South AL |
Agreeing with Jesa (once again) I haven't fully understood it all yet but I am sure once I do I will love it.. ![]() ![]() What don't kill you can only make you stronger... |
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Dopey Dope![]()
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I thought this was simply awesome. I think i saw a bit of parts from the bible when you bring in the apple/original sin issue. Anyhow, I really really enjoyed this poem. I loved it. Very well done. ![]() I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Fading Away![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Very original structure! I really liked this... Nicely done. --Marie You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning. |
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