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| How to Join | Member's Area | Private Library | Search | Sanctuary | Login | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Main Forums | Discussion | Tech Talk | Mature Content | Archives |
A home without a wall, |
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| Teen Poetry #5 |
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Broken Spells:semi-unfinished and on the verge of doom |
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chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
Finished Version: /pip/Forum49/HTML/000571.html [This message has been edited by chasing rain (edited 07-28-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 chasing rain - All Rights Reserved | |||
anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
beautiful writing..Leah  ...your imagery and word use was VERY nice in this one...wonderful job..so far...no suggestions here...hehe...i like it as it is...bye  im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you? |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I really liked this one. Quite deep and nicely written. I enjoyed it immensely!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Punk Angel Member
since 2001-07-25
Posts 66Pennsylvania, US |
very good......but how can it b unfinished?? |
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JBaker515
since 2001-02-28
Posts 458Dartmouth College |
Yes, this was good. Is this the finished product though?? I enjoyed the read. Good work!! ~Jeff~ |
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chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
Nope, not the finished. It's semi-unfinished, and i'm quite unhappy about it (perfectionism...yeesh), especially the last two stanzas. I'm thinking of doing some more changes. GAH, I think I should take a break from rhyming... -Leah Va pensiero sull' ali dorate... |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
leah!!..  how dare you think that this is not anywhere near perfect!!!..this is such a beautiful peice of poetry..i love it..im going to marry it hahha..no not that far..but it makes me wonder at how many other wonderful poems are going to pour forth from that head of yours..i enjoyed this poem from the tip of my toes to the ever ends of every hair in my head..i loved the imagery and everything!!!!...you did a very good job on this...but i have to say..although i DO think that this is perfect...im relishing the thought of reading sumthing that would ( in your mind ) surpass this in greatness....its going to be a treat!!!  keep writing my furry friend...agpfagp!!!!! "Killer in me is a killer in you, my love |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
 <---- reaction!!!! hehehe...leah, you need your head checked if you think this needs to be fixed in any way! Your rhyme scheme kicked some major ass and the imagery - WOW! You have become quite the upstanding poet, Leah as everything you are producing is of a very high quality. Well done Deejay. You have out done yourself. Into the library your piece shall go! ~AF~ "Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs." -- Robin Williams |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
This was such a magical and enchanting poem!!! it was truely awesome...i really got into it as i was reading it..the imagery really was terrific...awesome job and keep it up hun! |
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Linc
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552The Backstreet Boy |
Hey, The poem is good in my view and apparently in the other replier’s also. As they said above the imagery is wonderful, and I didn’t have a problem with the last two stanzas. The only thing I that I have a problem with, is that it isn’t finished. I will be awaiting the finished poem so until then -- Linc "Blood Moon" |
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