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zarina
Member

since 2001-05-19

Posts 180

0 posted 2001-07-25 11:52 AM

I open the door
Walk out of the room
I try to just be
to see

I walk into the woods
I feel so small
lay my hands on a tree
touch a life

I walk into a city
Try to study all the people
Running, walking
They think they're important
Want to be big
What only matter is themselves
they live in a fake world
their own

I walk up to the mountains
The atmosphere is thin
Look up at the sky
Seem so near, yet it's far away
Look down at the world
Seem so big, yet it's small
And what am I, just a tiny piece
What's my life worth,
in a world with millions of people?
What's fate, and what's destiny?
..can a human really be free?

I walk to a cliff
look down
just a step, and I would be nothing
dissapeared.
where are we going from here?
I try not to think
Cause I have no answers
I take a deep breath
Feel the life in me
And I try to be free

-*-* this is a weird poem. my first in a while. kind of different from my others.. but yet I like it myself. somehow

-*-*

I am always myself. Isn't that enough for you?

Heavens Tears

Senior Member

since 2001-03-15

Posts 677

1 posted 2001-07-25 11:54 AM

This was a good poem. Some of the line breaks seemed a bit awkward to me at first, but it you read it a certain way, its sounds great. Nicely done.

I need more time to find the real me...
to fly like the birds... to be set free.

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

2 posted 2001-07-25 12:52 PM

Hmm yes I like this one. Some thoughts in here that are easy to connect with. Especially the cliff part. Too many painful memories there...
"What's fate, and what's destiny?
..can a human really be free?"
The answer is no. We are all bound to earth until we die. Someone is going to disagree with that.

I'm putting this in the library to read over and over. That's how much I enjoyed it. Thanks for the read.

~AF~

"Write something, even if it's just a suicide note." -- Gore Vidal

zarina
Member

since 2001-05-19

Posts 180

3 posted 2001-07-25 03:01 PM

Thanks

Im glad you liked it.
for a while ago I posted a poem on a "serious poet forum".. they told me my poem was like a "cheesy pop song" wellwell..

I am always myself. Isn't that enough for you?

DarkenedShadow
Member

since 2001-07-23

Posts 114
Kansas

4 posted 2001-07-25 03:40 PM

I try not to think much on this subject of human life, smallnes, greatness, its almost overwhelming to me. You put it in words you can understand and it doesn't seem so vast anymore, thanks I needed that... great work. /Nick/

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

5 posted 2001-07-26 02:21 AM

I liked this one a lot but was confused about the ending. What exactly was she freeing herself from?
Anyhow, nicely done.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

Spice
Senior Member

since 2001-04-13

Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.

6 posted 2001-07-26 02:37 AM

Zarina I liked this... I didn't understand it much at the beginning as to whereit was going to end up...But the more I read the clearer it got and the more I loved it. I've been thinking about this stuff too ALOT lately. Nice write. I enjoyed it bunches- as usual. HaHa. It was a new twist/style compared to the stuff you usally write. You did well....Buh bye.

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

7 posted 2001-07-30 11:18 PM

I think I've seen that you've written better.. I think the whole flow of the poem was pretty choppy. The way you went from one stanza to the next was pretty confusing. But this poem was also packed with emotion... I liked that, but would have liked and enjoyed it more if I could understand what you were saying. I did enjoy it, though, as always. And I look forward to seeing more..

--Marie

You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning.

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

8 posted 2001-08-01 02:47 AM

so true...i can relate through-out

"Cause I have no answers
I take a deep breath
Feel the life in me
And I try to be free"

but we NEVER do..do we?...i liked the poem.

"if i die before i wake...i pray the Lord my soul to take" - when thugs cry-

Shygirl82
Member

since 2001-02-19

Posts 245
Ilinois

9 posted 2001-08-01 03:01 AM

I have to agree with Albert on that last part. I think that totally made the poem...
Thanks for sharing!
~Nikki~

It takes only a minute to like someone, a hour to love someone, but a lifetime to forget them.

zarina
Member

since 2001-05-19

Posts 180

10 posted 2001-08-01 10:29 AM

thanks everyone. I know this is a kind of confusing poem. your replys means alot to me. again, thank you.

I am always myself. Isn't that enough for you?

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