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Teen Poetry #5
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America The Beautiful?
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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America The Beautiful? |
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the_rescue Member
since 2001-05-23
Posts 316Japan |
Magnificent brilliance blinding radiance all in a tiny space given grace explicit freedom building a kingdom hope beyond all dreams quiets the child’s screams frosted reality covers sensed casualty truthful lies cover muffled cries growing indulgence stiffeld intelligence increasing stupidity hidden conspiracy moral decay lead astray possible death diseased breath infectious disease unlawful decrees nation falling stumbling crawling satisfied lust ignored disgust belligerent manifestations false incriminations American Babylon darkened dawn screaming night unimaginable fright death creeping saints weeping Sodom & Gomorrah in respect unaccidental neglect I'm not asking U 2 luv me I'm just letting out the truth no hold barred about what I feel nothing wrong with what I say [This message has been edited by the_rescue (edited 06-27-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 the_rescue - All Rights Reserved | |||
Marshalzu  
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Wow this is great, I really enjoyed this one The Rescue, well done and keep sharing  Andrew "Here we are again finding ourselves at the end Of the wrong stick I guess it's far too late I'm building up the barricades In my head" -My Vitriol |
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DarkAngelOfTheStars Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 255 |
i really liked this one...it was awesome. one morning you wake up afraid you are going to live |
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DYME Member
since 2000-07-29
Posts 104Texas |
WOW!! YOU TOOK THE WORDS RIGHT OUT OF MY MOUTH. No weapon formed against me shall prosper... ISAIAH 54:17 |
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Heavens Tears
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677 |
This one was great Rescue, and it is so true. *Amanda* |
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Dr. Jo-Bizz Member
since 2001-06-06
Posts 97 |
WHOA. that totally blew me away! VERY good jimmy. I liked the short choppy lines. and of course i liked what you had to say.  this was amazing.dr. jo-bizz But His word was in my heart |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
This is a lot like "Resurrect". Similar styles. I'm enjoying this... it works very nicely for you. The short lines work very well, and enhances the flow. The meter in this one is also very nice, and the rhyme scheme is well done! Good work, another job very well done. --Marie You can’t expect the roses to grow without the weeds. |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
Wow... my mouth is hanging open in admiration. Wow, wow, wow. Rhonda  "Amy, can you PLEASE come to Spain with us so that we have someone to keep Rhonda calm?" - Mr. Ardiel *insert hysterical laughter from me here* |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
wow...great poem...i REALLy liked it...written very nicely...bye  im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you? |
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obscurity of cloud Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 294....:::::******:::::.... |
this has a great message. i hope a lot of people really reflect on what you're saying. i also like the way you've set the format to give it a kind of symmetry. great work! "so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost |
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scout Member
since 2001-06-16
Posts 175no place owns me |
I like how you referred it to "American Babylon" reminds me when Five Iron Frenzy said "The corridors of Babylon are craning for the skies." in Giants, and leads into that addictive chorus. xscoutx |
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fearing-laughter Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605land of cheese (Wisconsin) |
hey...wow this was awesome!! i'm not sure if i agree or not tho...but it was still written really well! until your next post... -fear- emotions are like evil serpents that coil around your mind---me "i cannot save you, i can't even save myself"--stabbing westward |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Hmm...this is very interesting. I'm going to add it to my library to ponder it a little more. ~AF~ Just because I hear voices doesn't mean I'm crazy...SHUT UP IN THERE!!! |
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Linc
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552The Backstreet Boy |
Hey, Well they didn't leave me much to day but this is really good and i enjoyed reading it until your next poem "Blood Moon" |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I thought the poem was ok. Not your best. The style didn't much do it for me, but that's my own preference. It also seemed a bit negative to your America. It's not THAT bad, is it? Anyhow, I liked the poem. It wasn't crappy, it just wasn't your best hehe. Keep posting!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Very interesting outlook rescue One that will linger in a person's mind thoughts that provoke thinking great job keep it up hi Sweets, Kris, Lizzy, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Mare |
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stace_co2003 Member
since 2001-03-30
Posts 497In a dream world |
well, I like the poem, I just don't like the way you interpret us to be...this is a great place to live...full of many opportunities, it's not THAT bad -->Don't frown. You never know who is falling in love with your smile. |
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