Teen Poetry #5 |
Freak Show of a Fool |
Kosetsu Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 450Alabama, USA |
The moon is glaring down at me Their eyes are staring like they don’t see The troubles of reality. The tears drip down my face and pool Their words like ice, so sharp so cool It’s like the laughing kids at school See just this freak show of a fool. I can’t breathe, I’ll suffocate Choking on these words irate Running fast but always late To meet my bitter life’s bitter fate. Will you use me like a tool Bend me, twist me to your rule Why don’t you just come to school Come to see this freak show of a fool? [This message has been edited by Kosetsu (edited 07-23-2001).] |
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© Copyright 2001 Adam Kamerer - All Rights Reserved | |||
DarkenedShadow Member
since 2001-07-23
Posts 114Kansas |
Welcome to the world of freak shows my friend. Its not a pretty place, just like it says in your piece. You should explore that concept a little further, you'll get more inspiration that way. /Nick/ |
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Jessica
since 2001-06-28
Posts 350South AL |
Adam... That was awesome. I loved it. *hugz* What don't kill you can only make you stronger... |
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Kosetsu Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 450Alabama, USA |
Thanks you two. As for the concept, I'm thinking a bit more on it. If you think of it, school really is a bit of a freak show of fools. Through our early lives we make countless mistakes..its how we learn. And in turn, we laugh at the mistakes of others, oblivious to our own. "Love, like the Rose, is desired. And like the Rose, Love has its thorns." - Unknown |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
And I thought *I* was the only one that thought of school being one big huge freak show... I liked this alot Adam! |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Awesome job on this one! Wow, I really liked it. The scheme and flow was nice in my eyes. I just really enjoyed this one from you. Great job! I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Amazing flow here. THe whole poem is very well written... this is one of my favorites by you. Very nicely done! --Marie You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning. |
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