Teen Poetry #5 |
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the inconsistent end |
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scout Member
since 2001-06-16
Posts 175no place owns me ![]() |
Another night passes over day, and in the morning i awake --with mist, blurring sight of Venus. I casually cry and ask myself why the earth blocks the heavens from my eyes. Finally the sun comes out Venus is no where about and I must wait for evening to see her again, and another night passes day and morning i shall awake (the inconsistent end) [February 4, 2000] xscoutx |
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© Copyright 2001 Scott Lillich - All Rights Reserved | |||
Dopey Dope![]()
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
This was wonderful!!!! I really liked this one! Wow......so very well written. Amazing job here. ![]() I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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SEA![]() ![]()
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
very cool ![]() |
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Dr. Jo-Bizz Member
since 2001-06-06
Posts 97 |
i like this one also. i think you sent it to me before. it helps to know what you're talking about too. well, where's the picture? i want to see the baby picture, mr.-no-longer-a-junior-member! hehe. later tater. dr. jo-bizz But His word was in my heart |
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Marshalzu![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Great read, I hope to see more of your work in here ![]() Andrew "Here we are again finding ourselves at the end Of the wrong stick I guess it's far too late I'm building up the barricades In my head" -My Vitriol |
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DarkAngelOfTheStars Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 255 |
this was great hope to see more one morning you wake up afraid you are going to live |
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the_rescue Member
since 2001-05-23
Posts 316Japan |
nice write scout I like it kinda a cool thing, talk to you later ps. like your quote. I'm not asking U 2 luv me I'm just letting out the truth no hold barred about what I feel nothing wrong with what I say |
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scout Member
since 2001-06-16
Posts 175no place owns me |
I sent the picture, but it got totally stretched i think, and i don't know if they'll accept it, i think i have to redo it, but i love that picture of me "ad astra per aspera." Isn't the meaning obvious? venus the planet is only visable during dawn and dusk, you can see it without the aid of a telescope. Venus is the Goddess of Love, yet when love is there, i am unable to see it, but most of the time love is not there, so i wait, patiently for the day to come to where i can see love. The inconsistent end, is the fact that this quest for Love is never ending (and also the fact that none of us know when the end is). anyways like all my poetry this was written in a couple minutes without my knowledge. xscoutx |
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scout Member
since 2001-06-16
Posts 175no place owns me |
hey thanks for all your reply's, rescue, i just realized that the quote i use has been misleading, in that they don't give me enough characters to add the 6 after 24:16, and plus i had to snip ezekial to ez. when i forgot about ezra (even though ezra has only 10 chapters) I wouldn't of noticed that if you didn't comment on it, so thanks! xscoutx |
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Fading Away![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
VERY nice work. THe image you portrayed here was awesome. I really enjoyed this... my favorite lines were: "I casually cry and ask myself why the earth blocks the heavens from my eyes." That's a very sginifant part in the poem... very beautiful words. That gives off a sense of helplessness... anyhow, very nice work. I really enjoyed this. I haven't read much from you, so I look forward to seeing more. ![]() --Marie You can’t expect the roses to grow without the weeds. |
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anonymous albert ?![]()
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
wow...written well...i really liekd it...great job1...hope tos ee more...bye ![]() im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you? |
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obscurity of cloud Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 294....:::::******:::::.... |
this is one of the best i have read by you! i love the "casually cry" line, and also the allusion to venus. all you've written makes this a very complete and wonderful poem! "so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost |
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obscurity of cloud Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 294....:::::******:::::.... |
yeah well you know what i'm doing now. hmph. "so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost |
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scout Member
since 2001-06-16
Posts 175no place owns me |
thanks for all your replies! I really appreciate it. xscoutx |
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Heavens Tears![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677 |
I agree with Marie on the best lines of the poem. It was wonderful. And the layout of it gave it a great affect. Keep it up!! *Amanda* |
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TopGunLauren Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 718California |
Awsome poem keep up the great work! LAuren |
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the_rescue Member
since 2001-05-23
Posts 316Japan |
rock on scout I'm not asking U 2 luv me I'm just letting out the truth no hold barred about what I feel nothing wrong with what I say |
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angel_2401 Member
since 2001-06-12
Posts 131Cincinnati, OH |
This is really good, I hope to see more of your work! ![]() I don't have an attitude problem You have a perception problem. |
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scout Member
since 2001-06-16
Posts 175no place owns me |
once again thank you, this is one of my favorites i ever wrote, it's good to hear good remarks on it. xscoutx "Son of man with one blow I am about to take away from you the delight of your eyes. Yet do not lament or weep or shed any tears."-Eze.24:16 [This message has been edited by scout (edited 06-28-2001).] |
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!!! Member
since 2000-08-12
Posts 137VA (U.S.A) |
really nice read here. keep up the good work!by the way, for ANYONE reading this...how DO you get your picture shown under your name???!!! |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Wowies! I read this about 8 times. That is how much I loved it. So in my library. ![]() ~AF~ Just because I hear voices doesn't mean I'm crazy...SHUT UP IN THERE!!! |
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scout Member
since 2001-06-16
Posts 175no place owns me |
thank you anonymousfemale, i'm really glad you liked it that much. !!! you have to upload your photo in the member area section, and they have to accept it, and then when you reply or edit to one of your old writings, it will add it to it, and your new ones it will add... I hope that helps... xscoutx |
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Acies![]()
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
This is amazing. Such poetic words. I agree with Marie too. Those lines are very unique and has not been spoken off yet. Beautiful write, keep shairing. hi Sweets, Kris, Lizzy, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Mare |
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Jenn Cirrincione![]() ![]()
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
Great poem, I liked it a whole lot. And the pic is cute! Oh and BTW...to the one who wants their pic to show, go to member's area, there should be a whole section in doing it. ![]() "Woah my love, my darling, I've hungered for your touch a long, lonely time"- Unchained Melody [This message has been edited by Jenn Cirrincione (edited 06-30-2001).] |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
~Bump~ this one back to the top. ![]() Absolutely AWESOME write. I totally loved this. Simply amazing. |
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TheFalcon'sSpirit New Member
since 2001-09-28
Posts 4 |
I love this one too! You are so good at writing poetry! I have a million feelings I want to say, but I don't know how. -The Falcon (Hannah 4 ppl who know me) |
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xShUgArHiGhx![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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