Perpetually Jaded - pipTalk Forums

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a.k.a.maLa
Junior Member

since 2001-06-08

Posts 15
Florida, USA

0 posted 2001-07-20 11:00 AM

My chaste silence is all I hear
In this dawn of divide
Faded day romance flies away
All I hear are lies from your lips
False promises
All I have are memories
Memoirs of what-was
Collapsing continuity
Fear:undulated in my view
Look at me
You've murdered my love
I'm perpetually jaded

Ina
Senior Member

since 2000-10-09

Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada

1 posted 2001-07-20 11:02 AM

That situation sux, but the poem was very good. to the point, but still filled with emotion. great work. keep it up!

Regina

stace_co2003
Member

since 2001-03-30

Posts 497
In a dream world

2 posted 2001-07-20 01:39 PM

I really like this poem. and I'd like to read more

I LOVE ZU, hey Albie, Cody, Allan, Carly, Cherish, Lizzy, Kris, *HUGS JAVI*, Tamma, Acire, and Branden.
*HUGS ZU*

Spice
Senior Member

since 2001-04-13

Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.

3 posted 2001-07-20 04:15 PM

Jenna, I didn't like this one as much as the "Lovefool" poem of yours that I read earlier. Though, it was still a nicely done free-verse. (Free Verse are my favs. HeHe) Thanks for the read.

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

4 posted 2001-07-20 09:15 PM

"Look at me
You've murdered my love
I'm perpetually jaded"

Wow, VERY strong words here. I agree with Jesa in that this is much like the other I just read. Nicely done! I enjoyed the read.

--Marie

You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning.

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

5 posted 2001-07-25 03:01 AM

I liked this poem a lot. Very well done, but I found the ending to be quite weak and something you might consider working on. Anyhow, very good poem.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

6 posted 2001-08-24 07:06 PM

I'm beyond impressed with this poem
*standing ovation*
keep em coming, and thanks for the excellent read

hi Sweets, Lizzy, Kris, Ina, Allysa, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Ma

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