Teen Poetry #5 |
Venting |
Kevin
since 1999-11-02
Posts 729Torrington, Ct, Usa |
Don’t wait for the siren You’re First on the scene Already cryin’ [edited] drama queen You’re pointing your finger And all in my face You constantly linger; Put me in my place You’ve nothing to hide? Then go look in the mirror When you look from outside Things can be so much clearer So stop looking down And get off of your thrown You should throw out that crown Instead of your stones [This message has been edited by acire (edited 07-19-2001).] |
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© Copyright 2001 Kevin Bednarz - All Rights Reserved | |||
keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
Nice man. I know a few people I'd like to give this to. Doesn't it just feel good when you're done writing a poem like this, you can just take a deep breath and be like "Ah, that's what you deserve" I liked this one. Jon "Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine "Only God can judge me" Tupac Shakur [This message has been edited by keoni (edited 07-19-2001).] |
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Raven Skye Member
since 2001-03-03
Posts 112.In a House. |
Good job venting! I hope things get better for you *×´¨`·.×*Raven Skye*×´¨`·.×* |
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CwboyAtHeart Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 541Selah, WA, USA |
I liked this one. Simple, but I could feel power in it. Enjoyed reading it. - Cody - |
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Shygirl82 Member
since 2001-02-19
Posts 245Ilinois |
Whew...I could feel the emotions in this one. This was a good vent...it feels good to get it out doesnt it? This was very powerful. Thanks for sharing! ~Nikki~ It takes only a minute to like someone, a hour to love someone, but a lifetime to forget them. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
It's nice to let things out once in a while. That's good, just don't act stupid about it. Writing it in poetry is a great release for it. keep it up. hi Sweets, Lizzy, Kris, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Mare |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
This is one awesome poem. It's very intense.. A good let-out of emotions and anger is always healthy. Keep writing about it, it helps. Hope to see more soon.. I really enjoyed this. --Marie You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning. |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
this was a really good poem kevin...i loved this part; When you look from outside Things can be so much clearer this is so true..i loved this line...thanks for sharing |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
nice vent...i enjoyed the read, Kevin im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you? |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
Hell ya...I loved this one. The whole time I was reading it I had the lil head-jiving thing goin'. HaHa Filled with Attitude. Wonderful write!!! |
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katherine Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365Canberra Australia |
good venting there. bet it feels good to get that all out. I know the perfect person to give that to. katie fate can only take you so far, the rest is up to you |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
Great vent poem, could way to scream without hurting your voice. Regina |
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a.k.a.maLa Junior Member
since 2001-06-08
Posts 15Florida, USA |
This was terrible. It needs a lot of work. You could be a great writer someday if you stop trying to make everything a new hate anthem as screamed by Fred Durst. Sorry, but to be honest, it was not great poetry. There's a lot of potential though. |
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Kevin
since 1999-11-02
Posts 729Torrington, Ct, Usa |
on second thought...i dont have to defend myself to destructive criticism... edited [This message has been edited by Kevin (edited 07-20-2001).] |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Very mature of you Kevin. Ouch, that comment was pretty blunt. I would encourage the person who wrote that to keep in mind that if we are going to display a negative feeling towards the poem we should display it in a form to encourage the writer to better him/herself...... Oh well, I thought that this one lacked a bit of power like most of your poems have. The title says it all though, it pretty much says what this is all about. I thought it was pretty ok, but I am used to having high standards for your work because I love it I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Knight of Secrecy Member
since 2001-10-12
Posts 113San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Great poem. -C.M. |
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Honey Member
since 2001-10-09
Posts 92Hot girl From Canada |
Wow! This poem was great. It seems as though you got all your anger out in this peice. keep up the good work and keep smiling It Feels As If I've Always Been Someone On The Outside Looking In. |
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vixengrl04 Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495East Haddam, CT |
It's good 2 vent once in a while, huh? I liked this one so much, because there was so much anger and power behind your words. It just made it even stronger. I know plenty of people like the one you're describing, and I would love to right something like this about them. Great work! ~*Nikki*~ ~*I'd rather you hate me for what I am than love me for what I'm not.*~ |
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TopGunLauren Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 718California |
Yeah I also have a few people I would like to give this to.But anyway I loved this poem and keep up the great work. Lauren |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
You know I really did like this. Venting is so theraputic. I agree with Jesa, lots of great attitude. And to the person with the "destructive" comment. Hey, play fair. Honesty is fine, but everyone views art a little differently, and remember that everyone has feelings that can be hurt. Ease up. Keep it up Kevin, venting is always better than actually seeking revenge. Jenn "I want love on my own terms; after everything I've ever learned. Me, I carry too much baggage..." |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
Jenn is right venting feels kinda good revenge never hurts anyone but the person seeking it. Kathleen |
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krystlebabe19 Junior Member
since 2001-11-09
Posts 27 |
I really loved your poem. I can also really relate to knowning the same kind of person. Well very nice work! |
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allie Member
since 2001-07-09
Posts 218Australia |
Great poem... everyone else thinks so too obviously... really liked this one! thankz, ALLIE "An artist must know how to convince others of the truth of his lies." |
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