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Teen Poetry #5
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Mykels_Angel
Junior Member
since 2001-06-25
Posts 38
australia

0 posted 2001-07-19 04:30 AM


I cant take this no more
the pain, the suffering,
the anger, the tauture.

Push down the walls
Let me breathe
the wlals are caving in on me
suffocating me

Please give me a chance
i know i failed but please give me a chance
My heart is bleeding for some sympathy
Can't you see my heart bleeding.
BLEEDING FOR YOU!

Pain, anger, frustration.
Love, fear, tauture.
Blood, sex booze,
IS ALL YOU EVER GIVE ME!!

I lay in my ashes
The smoke surrounds me
My body is blackened
My skin is burned
Why cant you hear me
im calling from my heart
My eyes are stinging
my bones are rotting
INTO THE EARTH!!

Pain, anger, frustration
Love, fear, torture.
Blood, sex, booze
IS ALL YOU EVER GIVE ME!!

Pain anger frustration
love fear torture
blood sex booze
IS ALL YOU EVER GIVE ME

The end

yeh yeh yeh i know its pretty sick BUT IT WAS REQUESTED!!

hheheheh hope u liked it!

luv sarah



© Copyright 2001 Sarah Alford - All Rights Reserved
keoni
Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC
1 posted 2001-07-19 11:49 AM


Another good song. This one was a whole lot darker. I really liked this part.
"Push down the walls
Let me breathe
the wlals are caving in on me
suffocating me"

Nice job on the song.
Jon

"Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine
"Only God can judge me" Tupac Shakur

Ina
Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada
2 posted 2001-07-19 02:49 PM


this was awesome. great work. nice ass song

Regina


keep it up!

If you only understood my pain then maybe you could learn to be my friend. Be there. My crying shoulder. The smiles. And the caring i need to survive.

Fading Away
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
3 posted 2001-07-19 10:32 PM


This is SO powerful.  This is a real powerful poem.  You really put a lot of yourself into this.. I really enjoyed this.  The emotions are so heartwrenching.  Nicely done.. Keep posting all your work.

--Marie

You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning.

anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

4 posted 2001-07-20 12:06 PM


powerful and quite intense...ms.rockstar ...well, i liked these lines the most...

"I lay in my ashes
The smoke surrounds me"

...i enjoyed the song, though...great job!, Sarah...bye

im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
5 posted 2001-07-24 04:57 AM


I really didn't like this one. Didn't seem half as good as your other songs.
Hope to see some future work.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
6 posted 2001-07-25 08:52 AM


Nice one Sarah. The emotion was there but you might want to work on the depth of it. It lacked something. If this is about you-know-who, beat the crap out of him.  

~AF~

"Write something, even if it's just a suicide note." -- Gore Vidal

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