Teen Poetry #5 |
The blood, the sweat, the tears( new song) |
Mykels_Angel Junior Member
since 2001-06-25
Posts 38australia |
I cant take this no more the pain, the suffering, the anger, the tauture. Push down the walls Let me breathe the wlals are caving in on me suffocating me Please give me a chance i know i failed but please give me a chance My heart is bleeding for some sympathy Can't you see my heart bleeding. BLEEDING FOR YOU! Pain, anger, frustration. Love, fear, tauture. Blood, sex booze, IS ALL YOU EVER GIVE ME!! I lay in my ashes The smoke surrounds me My body is blackened My skin is burned Why cant you hear me im calling from my heart My eyes are stinging my bones are rotting INTO THE EARTH!! Pain, anger, frustration Love, fear, torture. Blood, sex, booze IS ALL YOU EVER GIVE ME!! Pain anger frustration love fear torture blood sex booze IS ALL YOU EVER GIVE ME The end yeh yeh yeh i know its pretty sick BUT IT WAS REQUESTED!! hheheheh hope u liked it! luv sarah |
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© Copyright 2001 Sarah Alford - All Rights Reserved | |||
keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
Another good song. This one was a whole lot darker. I really liked this part. "Push down the walls Let me breathe the wlals are caving in on me suffocating me" Nice job on the song. Jon "Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
this was awesome. great work. nice ass song Regina keep it up! If you only understood my pain then maybe you could learn to be my friend. Be there. My crying shoulder. The smiles. And the caring i need to survive. |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
This is SO powerful. This is a real powerful poem. You really put a lot of yourself into this.. I really enjoyed this. The emotions are so heartwrenching. Nicely done.. Keep posting all your work. --Marie You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning. |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
powerful and quite intense...ms.rockstar ...well, i liked these lines the most... "I lay in my ashes The smoke surrounds me" ...i enjoyed the song, though...great job!, Sarah...bye im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you? |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I really didn't like this one. Didn't seem half as good as your other songs. Hope to see some future work. I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Nice one Sarah. The emotion was there but you might want to work on the depth of it. It lacked something. If this is about you-know-who, beat the crap out of him. ~AF~ "Write something, even if it's just a suicide note." -- Gore Vidal |
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