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Teen Poetry #5
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Red.
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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Red. |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. 
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Ya okay- So I'm pissed, obviously. I JUST popped this one out of my lil head about 8 minutes ago. So be honest- Tell me what you think. And Title help guys...I SUCK at titles. Red fills my eyes. My finger tips tremble And each word I utter cuts through its victim. The one I hate. The one that enrages me to extents unthinkable. You have reached the point of no return. I’ve signed you off forever. Pick your jaw up off the floor. Wouldn’t want to trip- would we? Shocked? Surely not… Wasn’t this your goal? You knew all along that you were hurting me… Killing me… I grow evil when the pain gets unbearable. Don’t tell me you forgot that. Not so fun is it? Now you are the one being dumped on. You are the one being abused with looks and scarring words. Loved me? Ha! Love is monogamous. You could never handle that. Love is reciprocal. And I, I could never handle that... Yes, the smoke has cleared my eyes. Your shine is dark and dull now. Covered in scratches and dust. All I see is the pain you’ve caused me. All I see is red. So thats 2 in one week. Sorry. I hated doing it...But I didn't want to lose this write. And i didn't have my notepad to write it down on. I had to post it so I could write it down later.  [This message has been edited by Spice (edited 07-19-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Jessica L. Thompson - All Rights Reserved | |||
anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
VERY intense writing here, Jesa...strong emotions...much bitterness, though...hope things are ok...you seem like your going through some tough times...the title seems alright to me...just as long as your hot..  ..hahaha...it didnt meant to come out like that..  ...*ahem*... but, i liked the poem...and lucky you...that your comp doesnt freeze!..  ...and its nice to see you post often...gotta share your grace...remember?...bye  [This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 07-19-2001).] |
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keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
How'd this one get to page 2 with only 1 post. I like this one alot. Full of anger, and pain. I am sorry to see someone hurt you like this, but at least it made for a really good poem. Jon "Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine |
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Shygirl82 Member
since 2001-02-19
Posts 245Ilinois |
Whoa...this was very strong. I am hoping things have calmed down and that everything is ok. I could feel the anger and hurt pouring from this poem...it was really good. Thanks for sharing! ~Nikki~ It takes only a minute to like someone, a hour to love someone, but a lifetime to forget them. |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
This poem ROCKS, Jess. The power and intensity of the words hit me hard. Wow.. this is a library piece. Wonderful use of HTML. This is a good vent... I hope you felt better... hehe. Nicely done, Jess. Seriously, this is one well written poem. My favorite lines were: "Love is monogamous./You could never handle that./Love is reciprocal./And I, I could never handle that..." Nicely done! I loved this. --Marie You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning. |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
JESSICA!!!!!!!!  !!!!"Love is reciprocal" omg...it feels as though I should have written this!!!..my god this is exactly how i feel right now...for a while now i guess.....eight minutes or eight hours hunny this is really really good...i relate 600% to this..a very good write..and a very good read thanx for sharing....agpfagp!! |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Who exactly is this about? Ummmmm.....I'm not really sure what to make of this one yet, but i'll tell you that it's powerful. Sent shivers up my spine....  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
"The one I hate."- *cough* wow. Hate? "You have reached the point of no return. I’ve signed you off forever."- Gee, this person is in deep doodoo "Love is monogamous. You could never handle that. Love is reciprocal. And I, I could never handle that..."- This was my most favorite part. He can't handle monogamous love? What a crappy guy....but what really hit me is the part where you said you couldn't handle reciprocated love. Deep. I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Punk Angel Member
since 2001-07-25
Posts 66Pennsylvania, US |
oh my, thats deep!! im going to look for more of ur poetry, u r a good writer! and no, that other poem wasnt to my friend!! lol we love what is lost, but does what we lost love us back?? |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Such anger, such hate...BOOYA! Jesa, this is the meaning of raw emotion. You have summoned everything inside of you up and just spluttered it out in this totally fab piece. I could really connect with a lot of this. Yup, it's official. You rule! hehe...Now take a victory lap. Ahem...  Thanks for sharing this. You don't post much. Damnit! Post more!!  ~AF~ "Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs." -- Robin Williams |
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Low Man's Lyric Member
since 2001-04-03
Posts 236In a dream |
I liked the rage I felt from your words. Nicely done, Red actually fits pretty well for this poems title. "Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before." |
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zarina Member
since 2001-05-19
Posts 180 |
IT'S GREAT! Jess, I loved it  strong emotions... Im glad you posted it. cause this one's going straigth to my library..I am always myself. Isn't that enough for you? |
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chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
Strong, bitter, hateful...yum. Very powerful words here, and the title indeed gave a sense of dark flare. *evil laugh* uh...huh. Great job on this one! Nothing like poetry to express emotions, eh? -Leah Va pensiero sull' ali dorate... |
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Kevin
since 1999-11-02
Posts 729Torrington, Ct, Usa |
WOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I need to sit down DAMN! I love angers rawness as an emotion this is the first in my library |
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Alyssa
since 2001-05-30
Posts 385IM ENGAGED!!!!! |
This is kinda neat god i love reading different types of poetry in books they are all the same almost written alike same form ect. i like this! "I have no never-again, I have no always" |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
Wow Jessica, I loved this. Completely emotional and razor sharp in it's context... I would hate to be that person...yikes... Jenn "Baby I've been drifting away, dreaming all day, of holding you, touching you, the only thing that I wanna do is be with you..."Faith Hill |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
It's that bad? Well, I'm just guessing on who the poem's about. So much anger, frustration, and sarcasm in it very well expressed Jesa hope things are btter now *hugs* hi Sweets, Lizzy, Kris, Ina, Allysa, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Ma |
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Crash&Burn Member
since 2001-01-18
Posts 119 |
very creative it defenitly has ALOT of emotion, I think it's good to get it out you shouldn't keep things cooped inside cause you'll EXPLODE!!! jajaja oh and about the posting don't worry we're all curious about what you'll post next  I see the darkness coming all is bleak... |
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Starnite Junior Member
since 2001-07-05
Posts 41Wisconsin |
Hey I really LIKED this. Just not because I can realte to it. But it really sucks whrn you get hurt like that. I hope you get over it....well i think you did. Oh yeah your emotions REALLY showed. **Sarah  |
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Julian L. Chester Member
since 2001-06-05
Posts 50 |
ooooohhh... Now that is what i call a poem after a break up. let me see you found out that he was playing or cheating on you. so you found a way to hurt him back but worse so in a way he would know not to try that again and there wouldnt be another chance between you and him. i think the color red is the perfect title for this poem. and in a way the color red for this poem stands for anger, violence, and sufferings. well check out my poem called HATE. that poem would be a perfect match for this poem you have wrote!!! bye and i loved it. |
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stace_co2003 Member
since 2001-03-30
Posts 497In a dream world |
Jesa! such anger! lol, but I understand where you are coming from. I like this poem since you got out all of your anger, and all of your frustration. It's a wonderful write, and I wish you the best of luck in the future I'm not as drunk as some tinkle peed I am! |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
Wow. I'm speechless. Very intense. Whoever hurt you hurt you BAD!!! (state the obvious, huh?) Very good write! If you define cowardice as running away and screaming at the first sign of danger, then yes, Mister Brave Man, I guess I am a coward. |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
This poem was absolutely wicked...!!! BRAVO!!! |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
awesome...but where are you?..  ...well, when you come back...you got some explaining to do..or we might just ahve to...  ...eitehr way...miss ya![This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 10-12-2001).] |
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keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
Well, I've already replied when you first wrote this one, but someone made it resurface so I had to read it again. Very Awesome poem Spice. You have kind of disappeared, and now it's my turn. Just wanted to say thanx for always reading my work, I hope to come back again so I can read more of yours. See ya Jon "Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine |
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