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CLBinLOVE
Member

since 2000-06-04

Posts 147
Hilton Head, SC, USA

0 posted 2001-07-17 09:07 AM

human
to love
to be here with you
i love you
i need you
physical and mental
you complete me
you make me human

love
to want you
to yearn for you
to be by my side
to be with you just to feel your breath creep
across my skin
to feel your touch
send electricity through my veins
and make my hair stand on end
to talk without worry
to be able to say anything
to completly understand each other
and still love each other
i love you

trust
to know that you will never hurt me
and always save me
to feel safe with you
to have faith
to take chances
as long as your here
i will have a friend
and a partner
in everything

"as below so above and beyond i imagine
drawn beyond the lines of reason
push the envelope, watch it bend"
--Tool

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

1 posted 2001-07-17 09:44 AM

Craig,
this is wonderful. being in love is such a good feeling. I think you described it very well. I like this very much.

SEA

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

2 posted 2001-07-17 02:08 PM

"to talk without worry
to be able to say anything
to completly understand each other"

this made me VERY sad...that hit home for me...as i can relate and youe xpressed your feelings very nicely...as im glad to see you post again, Craig

im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

3 posted 2001-07-17 06:28 PM

I thought this was was very well written. I think the way you portrayed your love was excellent. However, that last stanza seemed to just be continuing what was already finished. IN the second-to-last stanza, you ended with "love". I think that should be you end. Maybe you should but that last stanza somewhere in the middle of the poem where you're talking about what love is. It would fit better there. Other than that, I loved this poem. It brought back awesome memories, so I thank you for that. nice work.

--Marie

You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning...

Isabel Galaxia
Senior Member

since 2000-06-18

Posts 733

4 posted 2001-07-17 07:16 PM

"you make me human"

I don't know what to say.
I love you Craig

Bel

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

5 posted 2001-07-18 02:13 AM

I really thought this was sweet, and apparently your gf did too. I liked it a lot.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

Spice
Senior Member

since 2001-04-13

Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.

6 posted 2001-07-18 02:23 AM

Oh ya! I read the poem and changed it to fit Marie's suggestions...I'm totally digging it that way. I think you should try it. I liked this alot. Very sweet.

allie
Member

since 2001-07-09

Posts 218
Australia

7 posted 2001-07-18 04:05 AM

Gorgeous post,
im a little envious, that you've found such an amazing partner. And loved reading your work.

ALLIE

CLBinLOVE
Member

since 2000-06-04

Posts 147
Hilton Head, SC, USA

8 posted 2001-07-18 08:16 AM

Thanks sea, i know ur right. i was trying to go for a free flowing thought process, so i jus wrote and then posted, i didnt even read it a second time. well, now i guess i should proof it for atleast structure aye?
hehe thanks

"as below so above and beyond i imagine
drawn beyond the lines of reason
push the envelope, watch it bend"
--Tool

CwboyAtHeart
Senior Member

since 2001-04-14

Posts 541
Selah, WA, USA

9 posted 2001-07-18 07:59 PM

I liked this. Must be nice to have a love like that...

Thought you showed your thougths well, enjoyed the read.

      - Cody -

Note To Self:  If Pigs Can Fly, So Can I!!!

If someboy laughs at me, does that make me funny or just plain stupid?

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