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Teen Poetry #5

Life Support Machines

EleanorMoonbaby
Member

since 2002-09-02

Posts 202
England, UK

0 posted 2002-09-04 04:56 PM

Like siamese twins
Like shadow and master
Like a welded joint
We're stuck together

You are my backup
In case things go wrong
The rope that binds us
Is way too strong

I am your crutch
On whom you lean
I'll always know
Where you have been

Like life support
I need you here
Like a drug
I dull your pain and tears

Too close for comfort
We both know
It might be time
To just let go

We also know
There's a risk to take
We could bleed to death
For our bond to break

But, over all
What can I do
If I'm always
Stuck with you?

Ah, poetry at it's simplest and most moronic. Not very impressive, is it?!

In the beginning, the Universe was made. This has angered a lot of people and has been widely regarded as a bad move- Douglas Adams

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

1 posted 2002-09-05 05:05 AM

Thank you for sharing this, I really enjoyed reading it especially the way you used the dependance on a life support machine in the context of a relationship, very clever

Andrew

"I still feel the pain in my heart, what once was pure is now diluted" - Biffy Cylro

Jenn Cirrincione

Member Elite

since 2000-07-02

Posts 2107
Fl

2 posted 2002-09-05 08:05 AM

Actually, very impressive. The simplest writing is often the most effective. I loved the comparison here, and I understand it well. Don't sell yourself short...

Great work on this one

Jenn

Why is it that we are at our most ingenius only when trying to destroy the things that keep us alive and thriving?

anya
Member

since 2002-07-27

Posts 393
London, UK

3 posted 2002-09-05 02:12 PM

well I like this alot, keeping it simple can sometimes be the hardest thing to do, if you know what i mean,
anya

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