Teen Poetry #5 |
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Mean Fay Bay |
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Winston Froom Junior Member
since 2001-11-28
Posts 32 |
Mean Fay Bay There's a mist over the bay, though the wind was set astray. We had to anchor by the pier, The sight ahead instilled fear. We knew we were not welcome there, but beyond the bay laid our affair. "No admittance" read the sign, We made our way to the coastline. "We need to reach the other side.", "And we our rules must abide." The fays would never let us pass, They overwhelmed us with their mass. Now we wait for ships to come, that thought is humorous to some. The mist has now smothered the way, While we stand ashore in mean fay bay. |
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© Copyright 2002 Winston Froom - All Rights Reserved | |||
Marshalzu![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
This is an extremely good peice of writing, I really enjoyed the read, thank you for sharing it with us ![]() Andrew "I still feel the pain in my heart, what once was pure is now diluted" - Biffy Cylro |
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deadeyes Junior Member
since 2001-11-07
Posts 33 |
Hiya Winston..gotta tell you I like this one. It's interesting what will happen in Mean Fay Bay..not to mention the way you use love and passion plus the simbolism of the name as if you were comparing it to the prohibition of these two but they accept no boundaries for it. It also reminded me of some of Robert Frost's use of nature. Excellent. "Silencio..no hay banda..no hay orquesta." |
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Kevin![]()
since 1999-11-02
Posts 729Torrington, Ct, Usa |
Hey winston, You tell a good story here and the music of this poem is very singy songy and though turns me off a little is good for the subject matter...it echos in a ship going tone I stumbled a few times over the reading but sometimes thats just me being an idiot might want to smooth it out if your really looking to rework it, but it stands as is |
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