Teen Poetry #5 |
Mapping You Out |
xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
What dirty lips you have, So full of passion and lust of anothers. You've sent me to a far worse place then hell, Where i doubt i shall ever recover. What deceiving eyes you have, Full of trust, warmth and deceit. I looked in them and believed them at one time, Now look what they've done to me. What fake hands you have, So strong, secure, and two-faced. They held on to me making me feel protected, Staying in them is what made me meet my horrible fate. What a devilish smile you have, So caring, understanding and cruel. I think its the smile that did me in the most, It made me look like a complete fool. What a selfish personality you have, So confused, twisted and needing to be nurtured. You had to go and kiss another girl, And im the one who has to be tortured. What a stupid heart you have, So foolish, sneaky and devious. You lost the one good thing u'll ever have, All because of a kiss you couldnt dismiss. [This message has been edited by xShUgArHiGhx (edited 07-16-2001).] |
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© Copyright 2001 Michele - All Rights Reserved | |||
Hill's_Chatabox Junior Member
since 2001-07-10
Posts 46USA |
Girl, I feel for you here, I competely understand where you are coming from. It's a great poem I really like it, a-lot. Shoot for the moon cause if you miss you'll still end up in the *stars*!!! |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
Michele! I'm loving this! Into the library it goes. *Click* I thought it was awesome...The beginning line in each stanza reminded me of the wolf in Little Red Riding Hood..heheheh... I liked it. I can totally feel what you are saying. [This message has been edited by Spice (edited 07-18-2001).] |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
wow...Michele ...very deep emotions in this one...such a tough situation...this was SO well expressed...i liked it lots. im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you? |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
The format of this poem ROCKS! The way you began each stanza and then described why the remainder of the stanzas was AWESOME. I am loving this. Nicely done! I relaly enjoyed this read... I'm looking forward to seeing more. --Marie You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning... |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Thanks everyone for your replies!! I really appreciate them |
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LoneWolf Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 384IL |
WOW1 this was great, so powerful! i totally loved it, great job It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that. |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
i haev to agree with spice here...it reminded me of the little red riding hood..i love that touch to it its awesome!!...very powerful and well written michelle well done!! |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I really liked the format of this. It sounded like "Little Red Riding Hood". I thought you were quite creative on this. Nicely done. I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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allie Member
since 2001-07-09
Posts 218Australia |
Fabulous poem. i understand where you're coming from totally, Wonderful to read! ALLIE |
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keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
I loved this one!. It was awesome. Very emotional and powerful. Guys can be such _____ sometimes(You can fill in the blanks). I don't get it when they do that crap, they'd be much happier if they didn't. Great job on the poem and I say blow off that bum! Jon "Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine |
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