A Special One - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

jeremydraul
Senior Member

since 2000-08-01

Posts 1118
State of Despair

0 posted 2001-06-26 04:14 PM

Its been a while since I posted. Dont be too hurtful!

‘A Special One’

Shimmering lips like a lightened pond,
And eyes of icy blue hue.
A face that gleams all your love,
All attributed to you.

Those dimples of peach color,
And a red luscious smile.
Mysterious eyes that trap me,
Leave me speechless for a while.

But inside this heavenly beauty,
Is her inner child.
And her sweetness and kinder things,
That drive me so wild.

Jeremy D. Raulinaitis

"War, what is it good for? Absolutely nothing!" - Edwin Starr

[This message has been edited by jeremydraul (edited 06-27-2001).]

FoxXena
Member

since 2001-06-13

Posts 141
where dragons play, children run free and foxes are never hunted

1 posted 2001-06-26 06:24 PM

This is SO romantic!!! I hope to see more like this!!

~*~It is said that laughter is the shortest distance between two people...~*~
~*~I say it is the written word.~*~

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

2 posted 2001-06-26 06:27 PM

Jeremy this is wonderful

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

3 posted 2001-06-26 09:38 PM

Hey there, Jeremy! It's good to see your name on the boards again. This is a very good poem. The bit of rhyme you have in there is well done, and the meter is overall pretty good. The imagery and description of her in the first and second stanzas is very beautiful.. she should feel flattered to have something like this written about her! Good work. I enjoyed this. I hope to see more of your work around here

Good job.

--Marie

You can’t expect the roses to grow without the weeds.

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

4 posted 2001-06-27 02:27 AM

Nicely done here Jer. I haven't seen you around here for a while. You just vanished, where have you been?!
Anyway, I liked this poem and it's nice to see you back.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

5 posted 2001-06-27 07:12 PM

Nice to you see you around again Jeremy. I see you haven't lost your touch. I'd love to see moer of your new work, I've been an admirer of your most recent poems. Thanks for the awesome read.

hi Sweets, Kris, Lizzy, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Mare

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

6 posted 2001-06-28 12:05 PM

your gonna stay around this time right?

...well...the poem was wonderful...very nice touch to it...great job!...hope to see more...bye Jer

im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

obscurity of cloud
Member

since 2001-05-11

Posts 294
....:::::******:::::....

7 posted 2001-06-28 01:11 AM

so glad to see you posting again!! this has such incredible imagery and smooth flow that you better keep em coming!!

"so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost

fractal007
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 1958

8 posted 2001-06-28 04:30 AM

A good job here. I like the way you've done this with the various rhymes and vivid imagery. Were I to write a similar poem, I don't think I'd have included as many cliches though. But then, that's my preference in writing.

"If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh"

-- Magus

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

9 posted 2001-06-29 06:44 AM

It's you!!! Man, it has been AGES since I have read any of your work! This isn't your best but hell it is great to read from you again.

Hopefully, you'll be posting some more.

~AF~

Just because I hear voices doesn't mean I'm crazy...SHUT UP IN THERE!!!

Heavens Tears

Senior Member

since 2001-03-15

Posts 677

10 posted 2001-06-29 03:19 PM

Great job! The only thing I noticed was the word "kinder". Is that really a word. It bothers me. But then agian I am just weird, so I could be wrong.

*Amanda*
I need more time to find the real me...
to fly like the birds... to be set free.

stace_co2003
Member

since 2001-03-30

Posts 497
In a dream world

11 posted 2001-07-01 12:15 PM

great job!! I loved this poem! thanks for sharing...

-->Don't frown. You never know who is falling in love with your smile.
-->Heaven won't have me and Hell's afraid I'll take over.

Erin
Member Elite

since 2000-06-15

Posts 2527
~Chicago~

12 posted 2002-02-17 05:51 PM

Jeremy~
Looks like you found someone good for yourself!!!

Even though Im months late for this one Im glad I got the chance to read it!!! Hope to see you around!!!

~ShAtTeReD mEmOrIeS,
aRe AlL i HaVe LeFt,
Of YoU aNd Me.~

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.