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Mykels_Angel
Junior Member

since 2001-06-25

Posts 38
australia

0 posted 2001-07-16 03:16 AM

I was thinking of us last night
And the times we shared
How good we were
But now we are apart
Yet we still have our
Dreams

For in our Dreams we are together
Holding hands on the beach
Talking all night under the silver moon
Kissing and holding each other tight
Dreams

For no matter the distance
Or the obstacle I will always belong to you
For we are meant for each other
not only in reality, but also in our
Dreams

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

1 posted 2001-07-16 03:20 AM

sweet...i liked the imagery and emotions in this one...great job, Sarah

and...i found that you have been replying, which is GOOD...but all with the same reply...sorry to say.. but i found that quite superficial.

[This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 07-16-2001).]

allie
Member

since 2001-07-09

Posts 218
Australia

2 posted 2001-07-16 03:38 AM

Sarah,
I love repetition, and your poems a great use of it.

ALLIE

Spice
Senior Member

since 2001-04-13

Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.

3 posted 2001-07-16 07:00 PM

I liked this alot...The only thing that bothered me was how "dreams" ended the second stanza. The 1st and 3rd it finished the previous sentence- but in the second- it didn't. Other than that I thought you showed your emotions very well. Great write.

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

4 posted 2001-07-16 09:03 PM

I REALLY liked this one. The descriptions of the scenes, and the way you portrayed your feelings for the person was very well done. I liked the way you ended with the same lines in the last two stanzas. Very well done! The repitition worked nicely. It emphasized how much you miss it, and how you only see him in your dreams now. Well done. I really enjoyed this.

--Marie

You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning...

Mykels_Angel
Junior Member

since 2001-06-25

Posts 38
australia

5 posted 2001-07-17 12:45 PM

hehehehe... well to 2 i DIDNT!!

hehe well i didnt know what to say!!!

:P

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

6 posted 2001-07-19 01:11 AM

I liked this one. Well done here!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

7 posted 2001-07-19 01:22 AM

umm..

...hehehe...well, long as you write long replys ONLY on my poems...

[This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 07-19-2001).]

CwboyAtHeart
Senior Member

since 2001-04-14

Posts 541
Selah, WA, USA

8 posted 2001-07-19 02:51 AM

I liked this one. lol Not much I can think of to say about this one, but I just really liked it, thought it was very well written.

      - Cody -

Note To Self:  If Pigs Can Fly, So Can I!!!

If someboy laughs at me, does that make me funny or just plain stupid?

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