Teen Poetry #5 |
I Love You In Not So Many Words |
Riley
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038in the pouring rain |
deep into your eyes a vast fault lay waiting for someone to close the gap waiting around has made it worse hurting even more ever day to year finally you meet someone you waited for how to tell them you really care you walk over and smile smiling back they turn talking you both dive into conversation times grows forth feelings surge wishing you knew how to tell them you care give them a smile let them know you think about them everyday give them a glance let them know they are wanted by a heart give them a nod and let them know you care about them i love you in not so many words <3 No guy is worth your tears, and when you find one that is, he won't make you cry <3 [This message has been edited by Riley (08-28-2002 07:52 AM).] |
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© Copyright 2002 Riley Grant - All Rights Reserved | |||
Allysa
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden |
Wow. You really blew me away. However, I would like to suggest a title change. Long titles scare me, and this kind of ruins the ending because the entire time that the reader is reading this poem, they are waiting for the line "I love you in not so many words". It takes away from the last two lines and I think that a simpler, different title would work really well with this. Anyway that was just a suggestion. Great job! ich bin schwul, ich bin jüdisch und ein Kommunist dazu, Ich bin schwarz und behindert, doch genauso Mensch wie du ~Wizo |
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Riley
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038in the pouring rain |
Yea, I thought so to but that was just an idea I put up there and it just stuck I guess. Ok thanks again. Ri <3 No guy is worth your tears, and when you find one that is, he won't make you cry <3 |
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