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Teen Poetry #5
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~Allie~
Junior Member
since 2002-05-23
Posts 13
New York

0 posted 2002-08-25 12:24 PM


I cant breathe in without shaking
As the candle flickers out
the only thing that makes me feel un-lonely is fading
I'll let it burn out
Let me burn out
Light a match for a cigarette and your picture
Im burned, now its your turn
I think the smoke is attracted to my eyes
because they swell up in tears
The fire that consumes the last memory of you, goes to my hand
I watch as my fingers slowly burn off
-Pain on my hand dulls the one in my heart, so I whisper to the flames..
"Burn me away"

Allie

© Copyright 2002 Allie Vela - All Rights Reserved
LCBS
Senior Member
since 2001-11-29
Posts 532
Connecticut
1 posted 2002-08-25 12:44 PM


I liked this, I could almost feel the flames on my face, and see the fire engulfing your mind here...

Excellent write


~Lisa

Smiles and Cries
Junior Member
since 2002-08-23
Posts 16
Newrk De
2 posted 2002-08-25 02:05 PM


WOW this was so sad i absolutely loved it i think the feelings are something most people can relate to

Have u ever Loved somebody so much it makes u cry? Have u ever needed something so bad u cant sleep at night? Have u ever tried to find the words but

skyshine
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-02-07
Posts 3058
Beneath the northern stars
3 posted 2002-08-25 09:14 PM


This is very powerful and descriptive, Allie. Good to see you back!

~Beth

Howl at the stars, whisper when you're sleeping, I'll be there to hold you, I'll be there to stop the chills and all the weeping.

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