Teen Poetry #5 |
night |
Godsend_1 Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 247great state of illinois |
the eternal blue of night flows forth devouring our souls entrenching us in things most fear and reaping what we know life goes on and daylight comes but the night live on in our minds all that is darkness shall live on forever in what we fear and i cry unto that dark night begging for final release and yet i wait still in the dark the night forever enveloping me. a wiseman once said "POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!! |
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© Copyright 2002 Ben Redshaw - All Rights Reserved | |||
vixengrl04 Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495East Haddam, CT |
Wow there was so much detail and imagery in here!! I liked it alot!! Thanks for sharing!! Always, Nikki *~Fighting for your love~* |
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Savage Quiescence Member
since 2002-07-29
Posts 326Wandering |
BBBEEEENNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!! (It's Ali, since you don't know this name) It is so terrific to see you posting again. Your poetry has improved incredibly! The imagery in this is wonderful, and you chose a great topic to use this metaphore on. I hope you continue to write and post Super love and great big hugs Sky/Ali "Whatever life brings, I've been through everything, but now I'm on my knees again" -Creed |
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never_a_princess Member
since 2001-06-09
Posts 82Show Me the Money |
"the eternal blue of night flows forth" & "the night forever enveloping me"--I liked the beginnings and ends a lot. Very nice flow to this poem. *noDs* I also quite enjoyed the line: "life goes on and daylight comes" for the imagery, as the others already mentioned. But honestly, it really does give a great picture inside one's mind as they read through this poem. Nice, buddy-boy. *hugz* __o0o_AnnA_o0o__ Friends r angels who lift u 2 ur feet when ur wings have trouble remembering how 2 fly. |
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wes New Member
since 2002-08-30
Posts 6San Clemente, CA |
I like the idea. But it is definatly hard for me to connect the blue of night and the darkness of night. Blue can only get so dark before it is more "Blueish Darkness" than "Dark Blueish". That is my only concern, other than that, good pace. |
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SunShine913
since 2001-08-19
Posts 211Italy but from NC |
hmmm i believe vixengrl04 took everything right out my mouth good work hun *!~!* Andrea *!~!* |
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StellarChica Member
since 2002-07-06
Posts 207floating down a river... |
Oooohh..Nice imagery. Good stuff. Thanks for sharing. I highly enjoyed it. *~erin~* "I've got nothing left to hide except for what's inside. I keep it all locked up in this prison we call love."-Sugarcult |
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