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Teen Poetry #5
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Another untitled
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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Another untitled |
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ShadyMakaveli Member
since 2002-08-21
Posts 128 |
I just wrote this and was looking for some feedback. Someone cried on my window Like a fawcett the tears flow Steadily drop after drop When will the pain stop Too many problems inside It's time to run and hide That's a thing of the past A stage that's long passed No more emotion evading No problem not worth facing Everything looked in the eyes No matter how big or small the size Time to stand up tall I will not fall |
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| © Copyright 2002 ShadyMakaveli - All Rights Reserved | |||
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anya Member
since 2002-07-27
Posts 393London, UK |
Overall I liked this, the only thing I would say is that it is perhaps a little heavy on the cliches, for example, 'tears flow like a fawcett', but as I say I do like this poem, hope to see more from you anya |
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vixengrl04 Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495East Haddam, CT |
I think this was a very well written poem. You did a nice job with this!!  Always, Nikki *~Fighting for your love~* |
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skyshine 
since 2002-02-07
Posts 3058Beneath the northern stars |
Good for you, don't let anyone else bring you down.  ~Beth You look inside my wild mind |
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Smiles and Cries Junior Member
since 2002-08-23
Posts 16Newrk De |
i liked it tho i wouldnt end 1 line w/past and the next line w/passed but otherwise it was awesome Have u ever Loved somebody so much it makes u cry? Have u ever needed something so bad u cant sleep at night? Have u ever tried to find the words but |
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punkrockerrobin
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180Sparks, NV |
hey great write i loved it!! hope to see more from you! you either like me for who i am or you don't like me at all |
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