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Teen Poetry #5
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vixengrl04
Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495
East Haddam, CT

0 posted 2002-08-19 01:55 AM


Hey guys,
Long time no post!! I can't even remember the last time I've been here, but I'm glad to be back!!   Anyways, I've had major writer's block for like the past few months and this is the first thing I've written in a long time.  I know it's not that great, but this is what I've come up with:

Aspirations

Within the burnished mirror,
I assemble the reflection of my own cerulean eyes.
My cobalt irises are perfectly rounded and centered,
Staring back at me with a lacking intensity.
I search deeper inside myself,
Until I begin to perceive what I’ve tried so hard to conceal.
There is no disguising my true feelings.
I can effortlessly see through my fascia and towards the truth.
My solitude hangs over me like a veil,
So heavy to bear and thorny to eradicate.
And all I necessitate is a true love to remove the heavy cloak of loneliness,
Although I find that locating such a love is rather implausible.
Hence waiting is the only option,
Accompanied with impatience, and a twinge and yearning for love, happiness, perfection...
And the conclusion to my preliminary observation,
Is that these sapphire eyes hold naught but emptiness, as well as a deep aspiration for so much more.

     *~Fighting for your love~*
    *~Is something I cannot do~*
   *~I'm not good enough to win~*
*~And I'm not strong enough to lose~*

© Copyright 2002 Nikki - All Rights Reserved
Skyfire
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381
Riding
1 posted 2002-08-19 02:15 AM


I really like this one. The last line just really got to me I love the big words!!
Savage Quiescence
Member
since 2002-07-29
Posts 326
Wandering
2 posted 2002-08-19 05:48 PM


Bravo!

"Whatever life brings, I've been through everything, but now I'm on my knees again" -Creed

*~p.r.i.n.c.e.s.s.~*
Junior Member
since 2002-07-25
Posts 38

3 posted 2002-08-23 03:17 PM


Heeyyyy, I didn't know you still wrote in here and I was thinking the name looked a little familiar. Well, anyways, I really liked this and I think maybe I actually understood it.... Hmm. Well, to tell you the truth, I've always kinda been jealous of your ability to write such... meaningful poetry. I hope you'll keep posting!
Alwayz,
~*~Brittney~*~

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
4 posted 2002-08-24 02:08 PM


I have nothing to say...............but all I can do is

*standing ovation*

là où est mon amour?
donde está mi amour?
wo ist meine Liebe?
Nelly Furtado é a menina a mais bonita no mundo largo do todo.


knightlyshadows
Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791
obscured vision
5 posted 2002-08-25 02:16 AM


yes, yes, this was so beautiful. you do have a way with words, even if some are thesaursish (but thats just me). anyways! this was a great write, with beautiful imagery and wording. i especially loved these lines:
quote:
I search deeper inside myself,
Until I begin to perceive what I’ve tried so hard to conceal.
There is no disguising my true feelings.

quote:
My solitude hangs over me like a veil,
So heavy to bear and thorny to eradicate.

keep writin!
tiff

“A single choice can build destinies, or destroy them.”

"Words are windows to the heart."

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