Teen Poetry #5 |
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Spine Grinder Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127Standing In Silence... |
Why do I feel like all my feelings, have up and left me- gone. Once upon a time I had a love, that was like a perfect picture- drawn. I don't know what to think, since those harsh words were spoken. Ever since that day I've felt nothing, my body just feels like its broken. Where do we go from here, what else is there to do? Is this the end of us are we finally through?... ~Ur feelings never change, u just learn 2 hide them~ |
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© Copyright 2002 Staci Weidner - All Rights Reserved | |||
Savage Quiescence Member
since 2002-07-29
Posts 326Wandering |
I think this could be better if you kept the number of syllables in your lines more consistent. It might flow a little better that way, but other than that, I think this is very strong. Thanks for sharing! ~Sky "Whatever life brings, I've been through everything, but now I'm on my knees again" -Creed |
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Skyfire![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
This one works for me ![]() |
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skyshine![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2002-02-07
Posts 3058Beneath the northern stars |
I know this, how you don't know what exactly is going on after a fight. Nicely expressed. Hugs. ![]() ~Beth You look inside my wild mind |
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Spine Grinder Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127Standing In Silence... |
thanks 4 the replies ![]() ~Ur feelings never change, u just learn 2 hide them~ |
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vixengrl04 Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495East Haddam, CT |
I liked how the stanzas were short and simple, yet you could still see the meaning within the poem. It reminded me of a young child, innocent and pure, questioning something so painful. Very nice job! ![]() Always, Nikki *~Fighting for your love~* |
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