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Teen Poetry #5

untitles and unfinished

*~p.r.i.n.c.e.s.s.~*
Junior Member

since 2002-07-25

Posts 38

0 posted 2002-08-12 11:13 AM

I'm looking for a little help on how to finish this one..... I know it's really not that great, but I tried!!

Every time I hear that song
I'll always think of you
I'm constantly reminded
Of the hell you put me through

I don't know why I ever trusted you
If I knew it'd end like this
I'm trying to forget you,
But the memories I can't remiss.

I could try to just forgive you
And easily make amends,
But I can't forget how you hurt me
And that'd make it hard to be your friend.

**that's all I've got so far....*sigh* i dunno....lol.**
~*~Brittney~*~

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

1 posted 2002-08-12 05:33 PM

My best suggestion for this poem is that you don't end it or let anyone help you end it, I would say the same no matter what the poet or the poem because after all it is your work and more importantly your feelings that are inside this poem and no one else can have your feelings and thus no one can end your poem for you. I find that if I can't finish a poem then there is generally a reason for it, I either don't like it or there has been a change in emotion since I started writing it, thus I just leave it sitting on my desktop until one day I finally decide upon a ending for it.

As for what you have here, I really enjoyed reading it, so stick with it because you have a good poem there

Andrew

"If you are afraid of wolves, stay out of the woods"

J.V. Stalin

paper doll
Member

since 2002-08-04

Posts 133
Floating on Uncertainty

2 posted 2002-08-13 04:44 AM

You know what? I don't think that this actually needs anymore added to it. More often than not whenever you're searching for an ending to a piece, you read through it again the next day and it finally clicks that the piece has finished all by itself. What you have here is fine so I'd just find a title and be done with it.

Thanks for posting.

~M

Imagination=nostalgia for the past, the absent; it is the liquid solution in which art develops the snapshots of reality.

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