doors, or something like it

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Teen Poetry #5

doors, or something like it

knightlyshadows
Senior Member

since 2001-04-14

Posts 791
obscured vision

0 posted 2002-08-10 01:19 AM

twist and pull
turn and push
slip inside
or
rush outside

back:kcab and throf:forth
open,
close
squeak or g
                r
                 o
                  a
                   n
doortodoor

ok, derived from boredom, this popped into my head after reading lisa's chip poem and lady in white's (if i remember correctly) idea. with a twist of course.
-tiff

“A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.”

Falling, Stars of Dreams.

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

1 posted 2002-08-10 01:30 AM

Hey Tiff

  I was pleased to see you posting again.  Nice to have you back in teen poetry.

I get to be the first reply!  Hehe...

OK, well here's the scoop -

I love this idea, it's a great technique.  But it felt like the only thing you were doing (probably because it was derived from boredom) was talkin about the format and how you were writing the poem.  Couldn't you instead introduce some kind of message or content into this poem and still make the formatting valid?

Just a thought.  Other than that, neat way with words, babe.

Talk to you soon.

Parasite

Dark Enchantress
Senior Member

since 1999-07-27

Posts 1258
meet Morgana

2 posted 2002-08-12 03:32 PM

Well, even though in my twisted metaphorically infatuated little mind I could find a message or meaning behind this... in a general sense.. it really doesn't offer anything. I mean the idea is good, but it could use some work. Hey at least you tried... I still haven't.

I'm married to Mr.Metaphor. We make love everyday.

paper doll
Member

since 2002-08-04

Posts 133
Floating on Uncertainty

3 posted 2002-08-13 04:31 AM

My head is twisting in every direction to try and get the message to this but I just can't get it. *damnit damnit damnit damnit* You get the message.

I can tell there is something behind it but I'm sorry, just can't get it. Divulge the details.

Imagination=nostalgia for the past, the absent; it is the liquid solution in which art develops the snapshots of reality.

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