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Teen Poetry #5

The Last Game

Dustin462
Junior Member

since 2002-08-09

Posts 23
Selah, WA

0 posted 2002-08-09 06:09 PM

THE LAST GAME

“Catch the damn ball”
The voice said
An oldman
Watching the football game
Waiting for his team to get the ring
He always enjoyed football
He always enjoyed family
He always enjoyed the grandchildren
One grandson was with him at this time
Watching the game together
The grandson enjoyed this time
Except for
His grandfather was also enjoying this time
With his grandson
And
His last game

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

1 posted 2002-08-09 06:55 PM

This is very different, in terms of topic... at the surface it appears to be much simpler than it is.

I love that in a poem... complexity hidden by simplicity of topic. Once again, I commend your style...

You have a lot of talent. If you had an "encourages critiques" flag activated, I could give more insight, but I'm going to cut it to a close here, to avoid anything bad...

Parasite

CwboyAtHeart
Senior Member

since 2001-04-14

Posts 541
Selah, WA, USA

2 posted 2002-08-09 08:32 PM

Awesome... At first, it seems like a typical football game on TV... But then it's way more then that. Very cool. Nice write.

      - Cody -

Note To Self:  If Pigs Can Fly, So Can I!!!

If someboy laughs at me, does that make me funny or just plain stupid?

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