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Teen Poetry #5
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To Pilate
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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To Pilate |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA 
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The sky grows dark and silent. I’m weak but I won’t show it. At last, my case is closed, But tell me, Pontius Pilate, How many arms have crossed The letter “T” in "poet"? Check out my poetry here: |
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| © Copyright 2002 Andrey Kneller - All Rights Reserved | |||
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CwboyAtHeart Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 541Selah, WA, USA |
very interesting... I liked it. Short, but had a good point to it, and a good question to ask. Nice write. - Cody - |
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Spine Grinder Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127Standing In Silence... |
wow, i liked this alot. good job.  ~Ur feelings never change, u just learn 2 hide them~ |
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clve527 Member
since 2002-07-08
Posts 200 |
The thing I see is that the abruptness of having the first two lines end in periods. Is there any way of tying them together to make it flow a little better? Casey p.s. Sorry about being picky... If all you want is emotion, go down to walmart, buy yourself a diary and hide it in a drawer where no one can see... |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA |
I don't know. I think it like it as is. I appreciate your comments though. Thanks your reading and responding. Check out my poetry here: |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
I quite like this as it is, as well. Very nicely written... very concise and to-the-point. And the point, I quite enjoy. One of the best I've seen from you lately, Master. Different, which is what I like about it. Parasite |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Love the new pic, by the way. No critiques there.  |
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clve527 Member
since 2002-07-08
Posts 200 |
I can agree with leaving it, but what about breaking up the line then, bringing another stanza in. It may be a stretch, but it's just a thought. Casey If all you want is emotion, go down to walmart, buy yourself a diary and hide it in a drawer where no one can see... |
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paper doll Member
since 2002-08-04
Posts 133Floating on Uncertainty |
This is quite interesting. I haven't actually had the chance to read through much of your poetry but from what I can tell you're a fantastic writer. You've posed a question that would no doubt make for an amazing conversation. I look forward to reading more from you. Thank you for this. ~M Imagination=nostalgia for the past, the absent; it is the liquid solution in which art develops the snapshots of reality. |
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