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| Teen Poetry #5 |
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Scratched |
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Kevin
since 1999-11-02
Posts 729Torrington, Ct, Usa 
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She left me used and worthless like a scratched lotto ticket A loser on the asphalt Uncovered in haste And discarded with prizes unrevealed Others come and pick me up But the damage is done Exposed as unwanted I fall to ground Again and again |
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| © Copyright 2002 Kevin Bednarz - All Rights Reserved | |||
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LCBS Senior Member
since 2001-11-29
Posts 532Connecticut |
Nice metaphor-it reminded me of Anya's comparison in "You remind me of it everyday." Good Job, I like to see you trying new things, because you have so much talent! ~Lisa P.S. Get online! |
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anya Member
since 2002-07-27
Posts 393London, UK |
oh thats so sad, but anyway really liked the metaphor and thought the whole poem worked well anya |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA |
I liked "I fall to the ground again and again" Good one |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
Sounds like rejection at it's worst. Life sucks like that sometimes. This didn't strike me the same as some of your other work, but it was still descriptive and well penned. Nice job Kevin.  Jenn |
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Spine Grinder Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127Standing In Silence... |
this was sad...i really liked the first line..good job on this one kevin  ~Ur feelings never change, u just learn 2 hide them~ |
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StellarChica Member
since 2002-07-06
Posts 207floating down a river... |
This was really good. I loved the metaphor. This was great.  *~erin~* "Temporaryism has been the Black Plague and the Jesus of our age."-incubus |
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*~p.r.i.n.c.e.s.s.~* Junior Member
since 2002-07-25
Posts 38 |
I always get do excited when I see you have a new post here...LOL I love your work. I really liked the metaphor in this one too....Great job. ~*~Brittney~*~ |
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