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We Are Through
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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We Are Through |
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AllThatGlitters4321 Junior Member
since 2001-10-03
Posts 45 |
You've mistaken me for a fool, played me like a tool, But i won't hurt no more all this suffering has been set outside my door along with your bags, all the memories we had, I told you once, and once was enough. Love is not sumthing that you do for fun, and leave it left behind when all the fun is done. I can't stand the pain, the tears, the shame, But now ur gone and im doin alright no more touches, no more hugs, and no more kisses goodnight Because i let you go now im doin' fine, no more weight on my shoulders this whole world is mine. So now im saying Good Bye, good bye to you, and don't ever come back, because now were through. |
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| © Copyright 2002 *MeGaN* - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Savage Quiescence Member
since 2002-07-29
Posts 326Wandering |
Some of the rhyming in this seems forced (for instance, the first two lines). Try not to use words simply because they rhyme, if it does not fit right, try another rhyming word. I suggest using Rhymezone.com if you ever get stuck. A very useful tool. I would also suggest that you try to write more formally, your words are very casual and sometimes even consistant with slang. It would just seem like you put more work into it if you used correct grammar. All in all, I think this has quite a bit of potential, so keep up the work! ~Sky [This message has been edited by Savage Quiescence (08-06-2002 01:24 PM).] |
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