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Teen Poetry #5
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Antagonist's Boon
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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Antagonist's Boon |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg 
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Antagonist's Boon Recklessly watching the sailors awaken The gulls of a falsity lilt in the room With hazel intensity, moral forsaken A chapter of essence in full, vernal bloom... My lover once said to me, love is undying I chortled, and tore it from sinew to limb Her shrieks of disdain as she twitched at me, crying So shrill in my heart, but my heart was too grim She spoke at me afterwards Soft in her after words Nothing to say that could vanquish my guilt "What, of these things do you think to be fullest?" I replied, "each are things that a falsity built." And yes, in the moonlight a candle did flicker For now t'was the end of a parasite's feast We fed ashes to gulls, in a goblet of liquor And homage was given to moments deceased For a feeling of love is unknown to the thinker His thoughts do constrain him to logic alone With his life, do his fingers peruse as they tinker But tinkering's futile when left to one's own And in valleys of fog, where the echoes negate me Do wisest of people allow themselves flight? I'd not open arms to the frosts that await me When sunshine, so strongly is swallowed by night [This message has been edited by Local Parasite (07-29-2002 02:03 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2002 Brian James Lee - All Rights Reserved | |||
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anya Member
since 2002-07-27
Posts 393London, UK |
liked this alot, had to read it a couple of times to really appreciate it though. I especially liked the last two stanzas. anya |
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anya Member
since 2002-07-27
Posts 393London, UK |
liked this alot, had to read it a couple of times to fully appreciate it though. I especially liked the last two stanzas. anya |
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devil_tongue Member
since 2000-03-02
Posts 50 |
Interesting Allan - I mean Brian or whatever you're calling yourself now. You always wrote well, there's no denying that. So what happened to Charm Lord? |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
I don't know - I requested it as a name change, I guess. Haven't seen you in a while. How's life on your hemisphere? |
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Spine Grinder Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127Standing In Silence... |
i liked this. lol dunno what else 2 say.thanks 4 the read.  ~Ultimately, we are all dead~Proximo |
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anawnda Member
since 2002-07-26
Posts 113 |
i like it a lot, what else can i say? it was a compliment when you read my poem, yours are soo good!!!! |
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Chel2082 Junior Member
since 2002-07-23
Posts 40Baltimore, MD |
Interesting piece..liked it a lot. Hope to read more. <3 Chel With GOD all things are possible...<3 CHEL |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Ah, Mr. Lee...Saying everything I'm thinking would completely ruin the thoughts, for I would slaughter them with my inadequate expression tactics. Uhh.."words cannot express..."  I will say one thing though. I understand the first stanza is supposed to set up the piece, and give it an intro 'cause it's narrative, but it just doesn't do much. I don't know. Maybe I'm just not open to it.Farewell for now. Oh yeah! Nice picture. What's that pink thing? ~Carly "Feelings are not supposed to be logical. Dangerous is the man who has rationalized his emotions." ~David Borenstein [This message has been edited by Child of the Stars (07-31-2002 11:59 AM).] |
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chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
Carly- It's his fetal pig. ^^ Okay, shutting up now. (I think it's smoke) LP boy- I liked this. Besides that, why say so much when you can say so little and still get your point across? MEEP! ^_^ -Leah- |
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Kevin
since 1999-11-02
Posts 729Torrington, Ct, Usa |
I'll be the first to admit I keep my dictionary close when I read your writing LP But your word choice is never in question I love hazel intensity  and I agree the last two stanza's were excellent Till the next one kev |
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