navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #5 » Love So Blind
Teen Poetry #5
Post A Reply Post New Topic Love So Blind Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
NSnaomian
Member
since 2002-07-22
Posts 232
In my troll closet I be

0 posted 2002-07-23 07:28 PM


So blind with love it all came true
How could his heart not see?
He loves her very much and now
He lets his soul flow free

A girl grown up in black and gray
Won't pass her way blue skies
She never knew her lover's looks
Or the color of his eyes

A boy grown up, tall and alone
Can't think much by himself
He's always been what others want
His needs put on the shelf

While Swimming at the pool one day
And soaking up the sun
He came across this starlit smile
And knew she'd be the one

He walked up to her one day close
She feared he did not know
His love for her seemed true enough
Would he become her foe?

At once alone, he'll hurt no more
A boy, a girl, at last
Together see the stars above
Their hopes, their dreams and past

So blind with love it all came true
How could his heart not see?
He loves her very much and now
He's let his soul flow free


This is actually hard for me to write b/c normally I don't rhyme, so if it is bad, just flat out say it please! I didn't think it was completely unfortunate but other opinions are definately welcome.
thanks

© Copyright 2002 Laura - All Rights Reserved
Xeonox
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764
CA, USA
1 posted 2002-07-24 12:21 PM


very nice poem. The rhyming is good. Their is always a room for improvment for any of us. Nice ending.

Ronil (A mask for everyday. Imagine a life without them.)

Pollita
Member
since 2002-07-25
Posts 220
the unknown realm of insanity
2 posted 2002-07-25 11:19 PM


OMG i loved it!Just the whole idea of it---like WOW.That is really one beautiful poem!
If you don't normally rhyme then i think that you just might have a talent for it!

That poem really got though to me.It was so awousome.You shouldn't be so hard on yourself and your poetry.

Well that is one thing that i can defenitly say that i do to.. eveyone likes my poems but it just seems that i hardly actually can relate with them.y'know.
~*~Pollita~*~

StellarChica
Member
since 2002-07-06
Posts 207
floating down a river...
3 posted 2002-07-25 11:33 PM


I really like this poem. And I think the rhyming was great. Good work!

*~erin~*

[This message has been edited by StellarChica (07-25-2002 11:34 PM).]

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #5 » Love So Blind

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary