Teen Poetry #5 |
Love So Blind |
NSnaomian Member
since 2002-07-22
Posts 232In my troll closet I be |
So blind with love it all came true How could his heart not see? He loves her very much and now He lets his soul flow free A girl grown up in black and gray Won't pass her way blue skies She never knew her lover's looks Or the color of his eyes A boy grown up, tall and alone Can't think much by himself He's always been what others want His needs put on the shelf While Swimming at the pool one day And soaking up the sun He came across this starlit smile And knew she'd be the one He walked up to her one day close She feared he did not know His love for her seemed true enough Would he become her foe? At once alone, he'll hurt no more A boy, a girl, at last Together see the stars above Their hopes, their dreams and past So blind with love it all came true How could his heart not see? He loves her very much and now He's let his soul flow free This is actually hard for me to write b/c normally I don't rhyme, so if it is bad, just flat out say it please! I didn't think it was completely unfortunate but other opinions are definately welcome. thanks |
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© Copyright 2002 Laura - All Rights Reserved | |||
Xeonox
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764CA, USA |
very nice poem. The rhyming is good. Their is always a room for improvment for any of us. Nice ending. Ronil (A mask for everyday. Imagine a life without them.) |
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Pollita Member
since 2002-07-25
Posts 220the unknown realm of insanity |
OMG i loved it!Just the whole idea of it---like WOW.That is really one beautiful poem! If you don't normally rhyme then i think that you just might have a talent for it! That poem really got though to me.It was so awousome.You shouldn't be so hard on yourself and your poetry. Well that is one thing that i can defenitly say that i do to.. eveyone likes my poems but it just seems that i hardly actually can relate with them.y'know. ~*~Pollita~*~ |
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StellarChica Member
since 2002-07-06
Posts 207floating down a river... |
I really like this poem. And I think the rhyming was great. Good work! *~erin~* [This message has been edited by StellarChica (07-25-2002 11:34 PM).] |
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