Sit in a world of my confusions II

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Teen Poetry #5

Sit in a world of my confusions II

LCBS
Senior Member

since 2001-11-29

Posts 532
Connecticut

0 posted 2002-07-20 11:38 PM

Sit in a world of my confusions
Close your eyes and hold on tight
Don’t get lost in my delusions
Things are different at first sight
My friends tell me "I have changed"
My soul reflects this may be true
My mind begins to rearrange
My heart cries "If you only knew"
Sit in a world of my confusions
Nothing is as it once seemed
Rarely are there fair conclusions
In a world that once was dreamed
My friends think they know what’s best
My soul’s weary, too tired to fight
My mind is lost, worn, and depressed
My heart can’t seem to find the light
Sit in a world of my confusions
Don’t be scared of what you see
They are just my life’s illusions
Simple shadows of what could be
My friends need to stop the lecture
My soul needs to start to hear
My mind’s a lost clash of stricture
My heart is enveloped in fear
Sit in a world of my confusions
Close your eyes and hold on tight
Don’t get lost in my delusions
Things are different at first sight

*it still needs work, but I decided to post it and get some (keyword here-) *positive* feedback. Anyone have a better word than Stricture for that line....it just doesn't fit....

Xeonox

Senior Member

since 2000-04-01

Posts 1764
CA, USA

1 posted 2002-07-21 11:35 AM

Great poem so far. I like how you are help to keep it rhyming, yet get the point across.
About that line..
**********
My soul needs to start to hear
My mind’s a lost clash of stricture

*******************
How about My mind has created a rupture?

Good luck..

Ronil (A mask for everyday. Imagine a life without them.)

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