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Teen Poetry #5

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LCBS
Senior Member

since 2001-11-29

Posts 532
Connecticut

0 posted 2002-07-16 11:11 PM

*This is another one I just spit out because I've been in a dry spell lately. It's not great, it isn't even good....but its something.

You asked for someone to light the way
And I took my torch in hand
We made our own path, cleared the brush
Conquered all the land
You asked for me to guide your feet
For there quite blind you stood
I took your arm and we traveled far
Within your vicious wood
And now you stand at the edge
No more need for me
So push me back and run ahead
You’re still too blind to see
I only wanted what was best
But I guess it wasn’t good enough
So I’ll stand here at the end
Waiting for when times get tough

Master
Senior Member

since 1999-08-18

Posts 1867
Boston, MA

1 posted 2002-07-16 11:42 PM

Would you mind if I try to revise this a bit a post my version of your poem? Just want to show you how much of a difference a little change can make...

--Andrey

Check out my poetry here:

http://www.unknownpoets.com/db/authors/master

LCBS
Senior Member

since 2001-11-29

Posts 532
Connecticut

2 posted 2002-07-17 11:16 AM

Be my guest, I'd love to see what a real poet could do with it.

Master
Senior Member

since 1999-08-18

Posts 1867
Boston, MA

3 posted 2002-07-17 01:33 PM

Check your email...

Check out my poetry here:

http://www.unknownpoets.com/db/authors/master

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