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Stale Bread
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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Stale Bread |
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Spine Grinder Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127Standing In Silence... |
Began with you, ended with me. Nothing left to do, we could never be. I loved you too, but that you couldn't see. Now there's someone new, someone to set me free. You and I are through, our love was just a fantasy. Nothing you could say, will ever make me care. It seems like everyday, I'm breathing stale air. When you went away, I took a mighty dare. I held my love at bay, but it seems, I swear, you always want to stray. Everything that was said, is driving me insane. It keeps running through my head, causing me more pain. My heart feels dead, while my body feels so drained. Just let me go to bed, try to forget you name. Nothing left to dread, yet nothing left to gain. ~i kept the right ones out and let the wrong ones in~ Aerosmith~ [This message has been edited by Spine Grinder (07-15-2002 03:22 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2002 Staci Weidner - All Rights Reserved | |||
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knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
wow, havent seen your name in here in awhle.. or maybe i just havent been looking. i enjoyed this piece and thought you did a good job on it. The last few lines of it were my fav.. "My heart feels dead, while my body feels so drained. Just let me go to bed, try to forget you name. Nothing let to dread, yet nothing let to gain." nice sig btw.  “A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.” |
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peachesNcream Senior Member
since 2001-08-21
Posts 513Ocean Of Tears |
wow, staci that was really good..i seriously like it a lot. i just like it..lol. like ur reply before mine..that was the best part of ur poem.. wuv always ~Jess ~*~I believe that friends are quiet angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly~*~ |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
Excellent job Staci, not just in your writing....but in your thoughts as well. There is always a time to move on hon... you have learned well.  Enjoy life, this is NOT a dress rehearsal. |
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quietlydying
since 2001-06-10
Posts 935the wonderful land of oz |
it seemed a little long and i found my mind wandering once i got close to the end. though i really loved the line 'It seems like everyday, I'm breathing stale air.' take a few days and come back to it. it's a great piece, but i feel it still has some work to be done to it. it kind of has a lyrical swing to it. i'm beginning to contradict myself, so i'll stop here. /jen/ so foul and fair a day i have not seen. - macbeth act 1, scene 3 |
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