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jaded
Junior Member

since 2001-07-24

Posts 20

0 posted 2002-06-28 06:53 PM

Hey guys, I havent been here for too long now so I thought id drop by for a while and also ask what you guys think of this, I've literally just written it now to try and help me get it out of my system - girl problems as usual!

the verses are kinda disjointed, it might make it a bit less pleasant to read in this structure, but i hope it adds to the confused, almost lonely feel

Love Suffocates

I want to say your name
but i cant
i want to get you out of my head
but you wont leave

all i can do is put words in the air
but you wont hear them

I want to say something big,
but its too soon,
your in my system,
I cant get you out

your name falls from my lips
but im gagged

I want to hold on but
I dont want to suffocate
When I'm with you im alive
I never want it to end

As the clocks mark the sands of time
I'll wait for you
The stars will still spell out your name
I wont forget

I just hope you'll feel the same
one day.

Who iis she
Junior Member

since 2002-05-14

Posts 41
Some where over the rainbow

1 posted 2002-06-28 11:54 PM

This is soooo cute! I can understand your ituation right now, i hope it turns out ok.

If history has taught us one true thing is that no Species can last forever...

Cinderelly
Member

since 2001-12-31

Posts 189
NM, USA

2 posted 2002-06-29 02:40 AM

That was a great poem! I know how you feel . . .

Life is a moderately good play w/ a badly written thrid act. - Unknown

Spine Grinder
Senior Member

since 2000-10-28

Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...

3 posted 2002-06-29 11:15 AM

wow, i liked this! i can really relate to the words.

CwboyAtHeart
Senior Member

since 2001-04-14

Posts 541
Selah, WA, USA

4 posted 2002-07-02 12:03 PM

I like it... Darned love, it's so confusing, isn't it? Oh well, I guess that's what makes it so great when you finally find the right person... Right?! Must be... Hopefully. Anyway, thanks for posting!

      - Cody -

Note To Self:  If Pigs Can Fly, So Can I!!!

If someboy laughs at me, does that make me funny or just plain stupid?

LCBS
Senior Member

since 2001-11-29

Posts 532
Connecticut

5 posted 2002-07-02 08:37 PM

I liked the format actually, by stopping after each small verse I felt it portrayed desperation. At least thats how it sounded as I read it in my head. great Job, thanks for stopping for a visit..

~Lisa

p.s. Dont you hate those girl troubles

Deep_Inside
Member

since 2002-02-14

Posts 377
i can't stop hiding

6 posted 2002-07-03 03:38 AM

it was nice thaks for the read

punkrockerrobin

Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 1180
Sparks, NV

7 posted 2002-07-03 04:31 AM

hey nice write thanks for sharin.

http://cgi6.ebay.com/aw-cgi/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewSellersOtherItems&userid=hardcorerobin&include=0&since=-1&sort=3&rows=25

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