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Teen Poetry #5
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CwboyAtHeart
Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 541
Selah, WA, USA

0 posted 2002-06-03 01:11 AM


Hello.  I just wrote this one tonight...  It touches on a few subjects that I haven't really even tried to address with my poems.  Anyway, let me know what you think.  I hope to make it into a song, if I can come up with a tune.

THE GOOD GIRL

Sarah Jones was her mother's girl
Always following the rules
Until the day that changed her world
When the quarterback asked her out

Kevin Brown lived to rebel
Didn't like to follow the rules
He did his best to raise some hell
And he wanted to change the good girl

The smile on her face said she loved him
The bruise on her arm didn't talk
The grin on his face was grim
The beer on his breath said he didn't care

At first she thought nothing of it
One beer here and there didn't matter
But her depression grew with every hit
And nobody was sure what was wrong

Things worsened with the time
The abuse got worse but she didn't talk
With every party, every drink, every crime
Sarah just didn't know what to do

The smile on her face said she loved him
The bruise on her arm didn't talk
The grin on his face was grim
The beer on his breath said he didn't care

She kept to herself, constantly asking why
Her knife was nestled deep in her pocket
She was ready to do it, ready to die
On the night that Kevin finally took her life

The smile on her face said she loved him
The bruise on her arm didn't talk
The grin on his face was grim
The beer on his breath said he didn't care

      - Cody -

Note To Self:  If Pigs Can Fly, So Can I!!!

If someboy laughs at me, does that make me funny or just plain stupid?  

© Copyright 2002 C.K.N. - All Rights Reserved
Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
1 posted 2002-06-05 09:59 AM


this got me speechless
I just hope that it isn't a true story
Just tell us it isn't so
2 feelings from me arise from this poem
one is of anger and one is sadness
excellent write Cody, thanks for sharing again
Watup anyways??????

là où est mon amour?
donde está mi amour?
wo ist meine Liebe?
Nelly Furtado é a menina a mais bonita no mundo largo do todo.


CwboyAtHeart
Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 541
Selah, WA, USA
2 posted 2002-06-05 06:02 PM


The characters are made up...  But I'm sure that true stories such as this really do happen, unfortunately.  

As for me, not too much.  It's been kinda confusing around here, my brother has been in the hospital because of his appendix bursting...  But I've just been kinda in the background around here lately, not really replying or anything, just reading.  

      - Cody -

Note To Self:  If Pigs Can Fly, So Can I!!!

If someboy laughs at me, does that make me funny or just plain stupid?  

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
3 posted 2002-06-06 03:12 AM


Dude, this was really well done. It really hit me. Good to know this wasn't a story too close to heart, but still a bit eary.
Nicely done Cody.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
4 posted 2002-07-06 12:52 PM



Cody-
This is VERY powerfully written, my friend.

   "The smile on her face said she loved him
    The bruise on her arm didn't talk"

Those two lines say it all.
Excellent write!
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

munchkins
New Member
since 2002-07-04
Posts 5

5 posted 2002-07-07 11:10 AM


well i would like to say well done!! that was great sadly though it reminds me too much of how i was a few years back and i think its not untl u see somebody else explain the situation u realise how bad it could have been!ur a veryy talented guy keep it up!wish i had ur passion for poetry!(sorry one of them days ive cut the bad jokes)
skyshine
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-02-07
Posts 3058
Beneath the northern stars
6 posted 2002-07-07 11:27 AM


Very powerful, something that I'm sure does happen more frequently than we would like. Good work.

~sky

You look inside my wild mind
never knowing what you'll find
still I want you all the time
yeah I do
'cause you get me
~Michelle Branch

LCBS
Senior Member
since 2001-11-29
Posts 532
Connecticut
7 posted 2002-07-07 06:36 PM




   "The smile on her face said she loved him
    The bruise on her arm didn't talk"


I really like those lines also....very powerful


Great write!

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