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Teen Poetry #5
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What About Now
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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What About Now |
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DancinQueen
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092Kokomo,IN,USA 
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*this started out as a song, but i dont know what it is now. i'll probably modify it later.. >< What About Now >< And dont act like my friend... I know what goes on When the shades are drawn And don't tell me youre sorry... The words slide right off Your hypocritical tongue What about now As you leave me behind My help no longer required I wait for you to fall To remember the days When you still needed me To find... I've walked away And what about the times I lifted you up... When life knocked you down You were sitting all alone Who offered their hand To pull you from the darknes What about now As you leave me behind My help no longer required I wait for you to fall To remember the days When you still needed me To find... I've walked away ...and I'm walking away... **You can't always trust the people you want to** [This message has been edited by DancinQueen (05-11-2002 02:45 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2002 Kiley - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
Hehe I won't be rude I promise.  Anyway, I liked this a lot, I relate to the concept very well. These did read like lyrics, well done Kiley.  Jenn "I can't get you out of my head- your love is all I think about." |
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knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
I agree, this read lyrically to me. I liked this alot Kiley and think you did a great job. I liked this part the best, I guess you could say it was the chorus (maybe). As you leave me behind My help no longer required I wait for you to fall To remember the days When you still needed me To find... I've walked away" "When you still needed me To find... I've walked away" Loved that last bit. ^ Excellent write Kiley, keep em coming. .:tiff:. “A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.” I know Im not perfect but I can smile & I hope that you c this heart behind my tired eyes [This message has been edited by knightlyshadows (05-12-2002 09:46 PM).] |
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Le Capitan de L'Amour Member
since 2000-07-15
Posts 60 |
This was pretty good I like your style, this are some good lyrics but to me there must be some music in order for this lyrics to be more effective, but in all, I really love it. ( have you read my poems?, they kind of relate) Anyways its a nice poem/lyric! |
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MidnightSon Member
since 2002-05-15
Posts 312between the gutter & the stars |
so get a guitar and jam already! wondrful lyrics... i can relate; i do this all the time, but mostly cause i write with music on... this sounds like an original, soulful tune. ...all the good themes have been turned into theme parks. |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
I thought this was awesome carly!! I honestly dont think you need to change a thing iTs bEeN 1 Of ThOsE dAyZ 4 2 MaNY dAyZ nOw..I jUst NeEd a DaY whErE tHe WOrLd cAn tAkE cArE of ItsElf.. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
hmmmmmmm....very interesting là où est mon amour? |
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DancinQueen
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092Kokomo,IN,USA |
Michelle...my name is Kiley  **You can't always trust the people you want to** |
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Mon Cherie
since 2001-10-31
Posts 922Land of Never-ending Summers |
Very nice!! Well done, Kiley...There's no sweeter revenge than to find out that the jerk who left you needs you badly now... well... too bad for him  _,,,^.^,,,_ |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
 là où est mon amour? |
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DancinQueen
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092Kokomo,IN,USA |
sorry ive been gone for a long time! but thanks for all the comments.. This isn't about a boyfriend, this is to a bestfriend that stabbed me in the back. but its ok, over time you learn who your real friends are **You can't always trust the people you want to** |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
are you talking bout purdue???? là où est mon amour? |
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Allysa
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden |
Wonderyful... |
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DancinQueen
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092Kokomo,IN,USA |
no....its not about a guy or an ex **You can't always trust the people you want to** |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
what's it about? là où est mon amour? |
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MidnightSon Member
since 2002-05-15
Posts 312between the gutter & the stars |
wise man say friends are people you think are your friends. but they're really your enemies with secret identities. "The soul is oftentimes a battlefield where reason and judgement wage war on passion and appetite." |
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