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Teen Poetry #5
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Drowning
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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Drowning |
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Demonic Illusion Member
since 2002-02-07
Posts 50 |
Shake and rock the boat, Sink in a deadpool moat. Argue with your stiff upper lip, Smacked again I crave skin rip. This rotting figure in the shade, Lay my head in the bed I made. Rats are we, Run from me. City flames ignite, Burning my sight. Dripping with sin, Do it again. Everyone frowning around me, Finally they noticed im drowning... Demonic Illusions, Frostic Dragons, Bloody Tears From Me To You....all surround by a force of Untouchable Darkness |
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| © Copyright 2002 Kyle - All Rights Reserved | |||
xShUgArHiGhx 
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Strong, sad and somewhat morbid! Very interesting write..i never know quite what to expect from u  iTs bEeN 1 Of ThOsE dAyZ 4 2 MaNY dAyZ nOw..I jUst NeEd a DaY whErE tHe WOrLd cAn tAkE cArE of ItsElf.. |
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Dark Enchantress Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258meet Morgana |
I really liked the poem, especially the ending and these lines: "This rotting figure in the shade, Lay my head in the bed I made." but some of the rhyming seemed a little forced. I don't think it really matters though. The overall meaning and emotions behind it is what matters and that was definitely not lacking. Thanks. DE "I never claimed to be your savior |
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Demonic Illusion Member
since 2002-02-07
Posts 50 |
well thank ya...some of it was forced...couldnt think of anything i got up way too early...got ya fooled though, i didnt write this from emotion this one actually came from my brain...thats why it sucks =oÞ Demonic Illusions, Frostic Dragons, Bloody Tears From Me To You....all surround by a force of Untouchable Darkness |
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punkrockerrobin
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180Sparks, NV |
great poem tks for sharing! robin i am me don't tell me different!! |
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